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| | Welcome to the Steve & Bob Newsie Bits Archive! | | ||||||||||||||||||
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| | Steve & Bob has total refit: 03/07/2005 | | ||
| | Right, I got a bit bored with the web page the way it was. As pretty as it looked, people just couldn't figure it out. The calendar was too complicated, there were buttons everywhere and it was just too bright. So, this is the new layout. I've finally gotten round to adding a news bit (see?) so I can ramble on about how great I am. Anyway, I hope this layout's a bit more functional, the navigation bar a bit nicer and the guestbook's there so feel free to write your brains there. | |
| | Cowboys and Lassos : 12/07/2005 | | ||
| | In case some of you may not have noticed, Steve & Bob has been a bit quiet lately. This is partly to do with work, partly with me wanting a break and partly because of my Harry Potter marathon When I say marathon, I don't mean I've been chasing JK Rowling down the streets of London with a lasso, I've been trying to read all five books before the sixth is released. It's been tough but I've been enjoying it never the less. You'll have more strips soon so don't fret yet. I'm just chilling... | |
| | A Series of Monotonous Events : 24/07/2005 | | ||
| | Finished the marathon and I find that the site's still here. As much as it pains me to say it, I've really enjoyed the freedom of not doing a daily strip. But don't fret; I'm still going to continue drawing. I like it too much to quit. In other news, the present for teacher event at the shop was a disaster; I've lost half a stone and the dog rolled off the bed. So pretty much uneventful. There was something about bombs but that could be anything. I miss travelling by train... | |
| | Frequently Asked Questions : 23/08/2005 | | ||
| | As proud as I was of the last FAQ, people were not impressed by it. The text was hard to read and it was too scrolly. So, I decided to rebuild the whole thing so, essentially it looks the same but has many little differences. The most important difference is that there are new questions answered. Other are little images with the odd animation with some of the answers. Click here to see it for yourself. I hope it inspires you to ask questions yourself! | |
| | My Fantastic Grandfather : 15/09/2005 | | ||
| | In the early hours of 14 September, my grandfather died. Obviously I was devastated by this and was terrified of hearing this news when I woke up yesterday morning. In spite of my better judgement, I went to work yesterday and in spite of my feelings, my boss made me feel a hundred times better. A big thanks for my boss/mate for being there. I'll never forget how wonderful and special my Grandfather made me feel. He always loved a laugh and had an incredibly benign nature so I will always remember him for that. | |
| | London, BEWARE! : 22/09/2005 | | ||
| | Yes Ladies and Gents, it's official... I have a car! The streets of London heaved a happy sigh when they realised I couldn't afford a car but now... Well, I can imagine them screaming in fear. I know I did. I'm a bit rusty with the whole clutch control and mirror thing but given time, I'll be storming the motorways like some sort of Tom Cruise type! Well, a tall Tom Cruise. With a bit less charisma... I'm just glad there is some good news after quite a bad start to the month. London, BEWARE!!! | |
| | This and That... : 22/10/2005 | | ||
| | It's happened, I've finally changed the look of the main page. This is probably the hundredth change to the main page since Steve & Bob started last year. I hope it's not too complicated (my sister does complain it has too many buttons but meh). All the pages have the horizontal Flash Navigation Bar (those squares with symbols and text that appears when you put the mouse over the squares), I've added a contacts page AND built a Newsie Bit Archive page. Just click on the- wait, you're ON the archive! As if you need instructions, you're far too smart for that. Ah well, even still, marvel at its glory. Or not, it's up to you. Oh, and Chapter 22's nearly done... | |
| | Bookmark It! Promotion : 3/11/2005 | | ||
| | To celebrate the release of a new Steve & Bob chapter, lucky customers at Ottakars Wood Green have been receiving free Steve & Bob bookmarks! These are proper bookmarks with like laminated paper and everything! I should know, I laminated them. I do hope that our new visitors do enjoy the site, find it easy to navigate and bask in the glory that is their own good taste! Feel free to write what you think of the site and the comics in the guestbook and thank you so much for taking the time to read Steve & Bob! | |
| | Happy Birthday Mum! : 11/11/2005 | | ||
| | Yes, this is me abusing my power but sod it anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! She's to blame for bringing me and S&B to the world but she's also a fab Mum and will be celebrating her 21st birthday again today! Since she's in Cyprus, I'm hoping that she (or at least my Dad) will pop onto the site and see this message and know that I'm thinking about her. I'm eating marshmallows so imagine I've just given you one. To anyone else who might be birthdaying today, tough luck, this belongs to Mum... | |
| | Keep That Nose Clean : 28/11/2005 | | ||
| | Chapter 22 is up and fully loaded. Yeay! That's some good news. Bad news though is that I do have a bit of a cold. I know what you're thinking, "How on Earth could he have a cold? Who has a cold at winter of all times?" Trouble is, when I get a cold, I get loads of nosebleeds. How is this relevant with comic strips? Well, I don't draw the strips straight to the computer, I draw them on paper. Lovely white paper. Thankfully it's thick paper so the blood didn't seep through that much but chapter 23 will take some time. I should see a doctor but, meh... | |
| | Happy Updates : 08/10/2005 | | ||
| | Pointing and laughing, a friend of the boss aka. Happy100 saw me struggle quite comically with the air conditioning the other day. The conversation lead to chocolates that made you slightly tipsy and then S&B. I gave her the link. She posted in the guestbook a very, very nice reply. I went to thank Happy 100 for the entry, which lead to a conversation lasting about an hour or so (does she ever work in that shop?) Since there was a lot of talk about the FAQ, I've updated it just for you Happy 100. Thanks again for being so lovely! | |
| | The Volume : 11/10/2005 | | ||
| | For some reason I have no problem remembering any strips, but I fully understand if people can't remember over 400 of them. The calendar is fine but if someone leaves the strips and wants to read the rest, it'll be difficult to remember where they left off. That's why, for the past four months I have been working on The Volume. A Chapter based interfacey thingy that will hopefully make it easier for users to come back to. This'll link you to it. Let me know what you think. Feel free to write your thoughts in the Toxicfire Steve & Bob Forum! Woo! | |
| | 4 Stones, 2 Toilets : 28/10/2005 | | ||
| | Since November 2004, I have been working in a retailer in London. Not very interesting, I know, but since then I've changed somewhat. I have lost four stones (and broken two toilets) and, well, couldn't be prouder. I'm not entirely sure how. I've not been going to the gym or had one of these special diets. I think it's partly to do with working, standing all day and not eating as much. I wouldn't say it's made me feel better, but I can actually choose what to wear now and sweat a lot less. So, yeay for narcissism! | |
| | Notorious Preview Page : 1/11/2005 | | ||
| | It's happened. It's finally happened. I've finished chapter 22! And to prove it's coming, see the preview of the new Volume entry at The Notorious Preview Page! The Newsie Bits covers an assortment of, well, Newsie Bits but it will not always cover updates made in the Notorious Preview Page. Only those surfers with keen eyes will be aware of its existence. It will be mystically updated from time to time and may even be quite empty at some times. When and if you visit it, will be up to you... It may be slight, it may be huge, but no matter what the size, it'll always be notorious... | |
| | Chapter 22 out & about : 17/11/2005 | | ||
| | It's 17 November which means Chapter 22 is officially running daily! Woot! Well, I say officially, it's been out for a fair bit now and some have been finished as far back as June, but better late then never. And this is certainly not- er, never. This Chapter is called The Perfect Couple. Who the perfect couple is is up to you to decide. In spite of its shortness, Chapter 23 - The Hitch is nearly done, so put those pitchforks down. Unless you're a farmer. But if you are a farmer, you really shouldn't be using your pitchfork when using the computer. See? Entertaining AND informative! | |
| | Zip it! : 29/11/2005 | | ||
| | MSN is a wonderful thing. It's so great to talk to people for the first time and discover new things. I talked to a very wise man last night called Andy who likes the strips (so that's fan number two...) It is wonderful to know that people do love the strips but even more wonderful when they give you advice old hats just take for granted. What if the strips where zipped? Inspired! So, now in addition to seeing the strips in The Volume, you can also download the chapters straight to your computer! Brilliant! Thanks Andy, World of Warcraft King! | |
| | Christmassy & Thrones : 08/12/2005 | | ||
| | This isn't because I feel a sudden surge of guilt. Honest. It's just, on the way home (feeling very smug that I had been saving my money) I saw that the new Prince of Persia game is out today. Prince of Persia! New! Game! Today! I popped in the shop, picked up the game and said no, I won't buy it. I'll wait for another time. Go will power! As I was walking down the road, I thought "BUY IT!" so I ran back and bought it. I may have no shame but I do have the new PoP game!!! | |
| | Damn you Trains! : 4/1/2006 | | ||
| | What better way to start the New Year then with a complaint. And that complaint ladies and gents, is about the trains. Just last week, a single ticket to work would cost me £1.30. Now it costs me £3.00. More then DOUBLE just to go to work! This is all so they can get people to use Oyster cards but even if I do have one of those, the ticket will be £2.50. Now as rip offs go this is taking the biscuit and I'm forced to go to work by bus, which is always, ALWAYS late! AAAAAARGH!!! I hate London. That said, how are you? | |
| | Back and Better then Before! : 7/2/2006 | | ||
| | Again, I am really sorry about having the site go offline lately. It's all my fault. It all started with me downloading a particularly nasty virus and then, well, the whole thing unravels... So even before the site went down, I made plans to remodel the site to get rid of the green and make it a bit more summery and breezy. On my travels, I found a guide to creating a photo gallery. A PHOTO GALLERY! AT LAST! I can add the 'Next' and 'Previous' buttons without having to write code over 400 times (yes, it's very surreal to know there are over 400 strips). So now the site is not only online again, but it's better then ever before! With a snazzy new navigation system (featuring a pic of yours truly) and loads and loads of navigations pages for Steve & Bob! Hooray! It's safe to say I'm happy. Very happy. *Dances* | |
| | Christmas Presents! : 25/12/2005 | | ||
| | Merry Christmas! I hope you have had a nice one and you get spoilt rotten with presents and all that. What I'd really like for Christmas that you can deliver is to get this site to break the ten hits barrier. How can you do this? Well, tell your friends to visit it. Tell your friend's friends to visit it. Friend's friend's friends- you get the gist. I'd just find it really nice if I had a sudden surge of hits on S&B and it'd be the perfect present for me! Thank you for visiting and I hope you have a fab day! | |
| | Happy Gathering! : 6/1/2006 | | ||
| | When Happy100 asked me out to a birthday doo with loads of her work mates, I was worried I'd be in the way. Not only was I not in the way, I discovered a group of truly lively, enthusiastic and generally lovely people I've met in a long time. There was talk of mobile phones, pronunciations of names, bookmarks and chocolate! Imagine my surprise today when I pop onto the site and see someone from the group has left a message in my guest book! So, as a big thank you, I thought it'd be fitting to publicise Beth D's website! Stylish and soulful, I declare her an honorary Shelly! | |
| | Twigs an' all : 7 March 2006 | | ||
| | Wow, it's been ages since I wrote any news! It's not that I've not been up to anything, loads has been happening. That's the main problem, I've had no time to write in this thing! Many news worthy things have been happening. One being that my very good friend Happy100 has been in the hospital lately to have her arms replaced with twig arms. Apparently it's something every Canadian must do at some time in their life like wrestle moose's and, erm, that's it really. The snowman conspiracy continueth... In other news, work becomes ever so slightly more complicated. What with the rise and rise of prices of just about everything, people no longer can afford luxuries such as chocolate (or they can, they just go to the supermarket). I love the quirkiness of working at Thorntons. No where else can I ice on chocolate for a living! I've iced a Steve, a Bob, Dougal from the Magic Roundabout and Harry, Ron and Hermione in front of a three headed dog. Yes, I am easily amused and distracted! But like I said, there are complications and hopefully they will be resolved in time but like most complications, they are complicated... Until then, I'll keep working in Chapter 23 and, more importantly, get people to enter my competition while there's still time! So much for making the newsies short... | |
| | Senior Sedated Assistant : 19 March 2006 | | ||
| | If I were to sum my first day as a Senior Sales Assistant in one word, it would be "Yawn". Mainly because I've been so damn sleepy today. I woke up this morning and didn't want to get up. I ate breakfast half-heartedly and after a very, very hot shower, I lay on the floor, closed my eyes and dozed off. Hot showers always seem to do that to me but today, my lord, I really didn't need much persuasion. Walking to work was painful (especially with that persistent wind), I fell asleep on the train and seemed to glide to work. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm very alert when I'm at work. Very nice to customers, very nice to the chocolate and very nice to the icing but the grump in me insisted on popping out to play. So when a lady decided to put my beautifully iced model in her bag, I said, "OH! Be careful! The icing! THE ICING!" It was only later when I felt reassured that the icing was intact that my work colleague noted she admired my passion for the products. At which point I thought, "Oh great, I didn't just shout at a customer did I?" It was very nice icing if that's any justification... Anyway, my colleague mentioned a short funny film on the net called 'Nine Naked Men' that I should see (the joys of broadband) so I'll google that later. Until then... zzzz....... | |
| | CD Magnific! : 22 March 2006 | | ||
| | After finishing what was a relatively quiet day at work (no car crashes as far as I'm aware), I left the shop determined to go to HMV and bought some CDs for the first time in ages! I tell you what, it's true what they say about retail therapy, it really does help. I bought a new single from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs called "Gold Lion". A fantastic tune which has more then a nod at Siouxsie & The Banshees and even a bit of Queen's "We Will Rock You". What convinced me to buy the single, well, apart from being too impatient to wait until next week for their album to come out, I saw them play live on Top of the Pops on Sunday and was surprised at how nervous Karen O was during the whole song. So much so that she was reduced to relentless giggles by the end of the song. She was just so sweet and really needed a hug so I thought, "What's the next best thing?" I also bought the remastered album from The Rakes called Capture/Release. The song that persuaded me to buy it was "All Too Human" which I've heard on the radio and telly way too many times to ignore. After hearing it, I thought, "I HAVE to buy that album." After a heated discussion with the Sales Assistant at HMV who obviously loves the band, I felt confident that it was a good purchase and boy was it. Brilliant album, but I'm not sure, I may need to listen to it a few more times JUST to make sure... There you go, that's my music news. Hrm, I should really write some news about the comics really... | |
| | The Hitch is UP!!! : 26 March 2006 | | ||
| | At last! It's happened! * Yes, it's Mother's Day (imagines blind panic) | |
| | Employment Issues : 30 March 2006 | | ||
| | Bad news I'm afraid guys, it seems that my boss's replacement won't be coming this Easter. Bummer. Good news is that someone who is currently working in the shop is interested in the manager's job and I couldn't think of anyone better. Hoo-flipping-ray! As much as I love working there, I don't want to be a manager at this chocolate shop. I'm not exactly the responsible type when it comes to retail. I'd rather have loads of time working on the strips then have loads of time filling in forms, counting stock and lots of other things that aren't as fun as drawing. That said, Easter is coming and even if there wasn't complications with employment, it's going to be a hectic time. So I'll warn you now, some strips may, MAY be late. Just thought you should know. | |
| | Filthy Beggars : 1 April 2006 | | ||
| | Gotcha! Gay chimps indeed... Happy April Fools Day!!! | |
| | Steve & Bob vs Brad & Eduardo! : 2 April 2006 | | ||
| | So April Fools Day is over and for those of you who haven't visited, you've missed a true classic in Steve & Bob history. Pretending the site had been hijacked, Steve & Bob had been transformed from comic strip page to WWW.GAYCHIMPS.COM! The inspiration for the gag came from Holy Mother from the guest book and I made the page last night. You'd be surprised how easy it was finding those pics of those monkeys. But anyway, they're gone now. Those who'd be sad to see the monkeys gone, all I can say is sorry now. I've gathered them up, tied blindfolds on them, told them to stand backs against the walls (they liked that) and have been shot repeatedly by a firing squad. All that's left of them is the brains, guts and bogeys on the walls behind them. Steve & Bob will no longer be plagued by those meddlesome monkeys again! I'm surprised no one noticed that Eduardo came from a village called "Lyys Plinty". I thought that was a stroke of genius. Well, I would... | |
| | Smug Almighty and Adios Boss : 5 April 2006 | | ||
| | Today was the last day that my boss worked in our little chocolate shop. Doomed, we're all doomed! Well, no, I'm actually more optimistic then that. Everything's pretty much in the air at the moment so who knows what's going to happen? Only God and we know how much of a drama queen he is. I just wanted to say in the newsies that I think my boss is a top bloke. I remember the first day I met him when I was going round shops, begging for jobs and he just so level headed. Since then we've got on so well and are both really good mates. i couldn't have hoped to have met such a top bloke (and now he's not my boss it doesn't sound like I'm sucking up so it must be sincerity). I wish him the best of luck with his never ceasing endeavours! | |
| | The Walking Dead : 8 April 2006 | | ||
| | Easter, Easter, Easter. Gaah! It's safe to say I'm slowly but surely going mad. I'm working full days (because we're currently managerless) and spent about 3 hours at home when I'm awake so I have very little time for eating let alone the strips. But thanks to sheer passion and sheer stubburness, this will not hold me back. Rest assured, you will get Chapter 23 even if it kills me and thankfully, it won't. I'm sure it won't. It's not like it's made of Kryptonite is it? Or is it? Wait, who am I? Man I need some sleep... | |
| | My New Keyboard! : 11 April 2006 | | ||
| | Yeah, I'm returning it... It's not the one I wanted and wasn't nearly as good as I thought it'd be so, bah. I bought a keyboard from Amazon as a birthday present from my sister to me (yes, she really couldn't be bothered to go online to buy it herself) and this keyboard looked so tastey online too. But I thought it'd have flat keys like the ones on laptops but neigh. Oh, I have a day off today (hooray!) so I may very well write ten newsies to make up for the lack of newsies lately. But I've been selling way too many Easter Eggs to do anything else so, bah. I'm going to relish doing absolutely nothing today. Wish me luck! But as I'm busy doing nothing, Jo and Shelly are busy doing something well over due! Have a look and enjoy! | |
| | Lucky sods... : 19 April 2006 | | ||
| |  While the economy is slowly collapsing, the increase of pollution is suffocating the world and the evil giant flying octopi are steadily gaining progress on their journey to Earth, plotting to conquer all, my parents have gone on holiday. Lucky sods.I find this whole holiday thing very confusing. Is it a holiday or is it a business venture? Well, they have property in Cyprus so it could be a business venture but then again, it is Cyprus so who knows? In other news, my doctor still hasn't got my x-ray results back. I say I have a strange lump in my throat and he x-rays my chest. I find it all very confusing. Oh, and I went to visit Happy100 the other day! I gave her my bunny egg and her face was like "Awwwww!" It's not like me to finish any newsies in good spirits so I think I'll end by saying if you see a man in a long trench coat with what looks like eight tentacles as opposed to two arms, call the Prime Minister... | |
| | Thelma Love : 25 April 2006 | | ||
| | My ever increasing obsession for the telly show 'Hex' has surfaced yet again. For those of you who don't know, Hex is a telly show about supernatrual stuff. It's got fallen angels, witches, demons and ghosts. It's nothing mindblowing to be honest (I have seen better things on the telly) but I can't help but love it. Mainly because of Thelma Bates. Thelma (played by Jemima Rooper) is by far the best telly creation since Del Boy. But better. Thelma was the best mates and room mate with another girl called Cassie. I say was because she is no longer living. What is more extraordinary was that she was a sacrifice for a fallen angel. Even more refreshing she is now a ghost that only Cassie can see. She's incredibly open, honest, touching, sassy, sweet and likeable character. It's refreshing to have a gay main charater right from the start who doesn't fall into any of the usual catogaries or stereotypes of gay characters. Well, except that she dies in episode one but even as a ghost she says at her funeral, "They're bloody loving this. Don't be a Dyke or you'll end up topping yourself!" | |
| | Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze : 1 May 2006 | | ||
| | Happy May Day everyone! A daw where we celebrate rabbits, Easter, spring and badgers. Well... Why not? After spending the whole day at work listening to the James Bond soundtrack and listening to Lulu sing for the umpteenth time, "He has a powerful weapon. He charges a million a shot." I'm quite relieved to be at home. But I do have a rather sinking feeling about one moment in my day. My break. For once I wanted to do some strips in my break (Since Chapter 23's nearly finished) but as I started, I began to nod off. I kept bullying myself to stay awake but I just kept on falling asleep. This has been happening a lot lately and it is due to being over worked. This is why I never wanted to be manager, it's just too much work and it's not something I feel passionately about. Well, not as passionately as my art (which hopefully people will understand). It's safe to say that this has left a rather large dilemma... | |
| | Day Off! : 3 May 2006 | | ||
| | I have a day off! Y-E-A-Y! All the children in the world cheer, birds sing sweetly and the world becomes a sunnier place as it celebrates with me as I spend the entire day slobbing about! HOORAY FOR SLOBBING! Ahem, now that I've got that out of my system, Chapter 23 - The Hitch is nearly all up and loaded which means, even more urgently, the zipped file will be making an appearance. I'll be writing my own thougts on The Hitch in later newsies but until then, there's always the forum where I'd be more then happy to natter on about the chapters, stories, characters and everything. Especially since I have another day off tomorrow! *More cheers!* | |
| | Racist : 6 May 2006 | | ||
| | Interesting work related story. There was a customer looking at bags of mixed choccies, pick up each one and scanning their contents. Now I've been working for the company for a year and a half now and I know quite a bit about the products. Not a lot (Paul Daniels eat your heart off), but enough. So, seeing this woman, searching through these bags I thought there was something specific she was looking for. I asked, "Hi there, was there anything specific you were looking for?" She stares at me as though I'd just slapped her face and didn't say anything. Thinking she might not have heard me (the traffic outside is a bit noisy), I asked again, "Was there anything specific, a specific chocolate or flavour you're looking for?" "No." She lady said, still looking wounded, "If there was anything specific I was looking for, I would ask you, I wouldn't expect you to come over and ask me what I'm looking for." Slightly surprised, I couldn't think of a response, so she continued, "Why would you come up to ME and ask ME if there was anything specific I was looking for? Strange how you'd only ask the only black woman in the shop!" "Err, I ask all the customers that." "Yeah right, you ask all the black customers, all the white ones you leave alone!" At this point, I decided to depart from the conversation and pass this woman over to my work colleague. The whole time this customer was complaining about being hassled to all the other customers until she left the shop. Well, it left her with something to talk about. But not only her, me too. That wasn't the first time I'd be subjected to blatant racism and it certainly won't be the last. When I told my work colleagues about this, one of them just burst out laughing, the other one was fuming, saying this woman was going backwards, not forwards. The thing is, I can sort of understand where this woman is coming from. I've worked in the retail business All my life so it's long enough to know that a lot of cashiers do judge people by either race or age. I can imagine it can be more then frustrating, but surely this is a new generation were people can actually talk or ask, "How are you?" without being accused of being a racist. If I ask a customer if they need help, they mostly say, "No" and then I leave them to it or say, "If there was anything specific you were looking for, I'll be just over here." This is definitely not a slur on the company that I work for. I love working for the company because of the unique services it provides (where else can you ice on chocolate for a living?), All the staff are very friendly and helpful and, of course, it pays for the clothes on my back. I just wanted to share my frustration of the closed mindedness of some of the customers and I'm glad to say, they are the minority! | |
| | New Stuff Eventually. Maybe If you're lucky: 18 May 2006 | | ||
| | Wow, long time since an update. Sorry about that again. I'm fine, everything's in tact so... Progress on Chapter 24's going well but I've also been working on re-designing the site again (I hear the nation sigh in unison). The thing is, I get bored of the look of the site very easily and there's so many new little features I want to add that I just can't leave it alone. I mean, I do like the yellow, but it is a bit too yellow, so... New pages that will be added in the near future will be The Notorious Snowman Poems Page and an Inspirations page which actually might not happen as it may breach a few million copyright laws. Ho-hum. Anyway, enough about me, how are you? | |
| | Eurovision! : 20 May 2006 | | ||
| | HARD! ROCK! HALLELUJAH! Finland won! Yeay! Okay, it was a terrible rock song, but it was a brilliant Eurovision song! And even though I was rooting for Russia, deep down I wanted Finland to win. I have also fallen in love with Terry Wogan all over again. He was on top form remarking on just about everything and made his feelings for some of the poorer songs well heard. Lets be totally honest here, I only watch Eurovision for Terry Wogan and my God, I didn't stop laughing all night long. All you other countries that think Eurovision's rubbish, you haven't got the right commentator. HARD! ROCK! HALLELUJAH! | |
| | The Great Escape! : 15 March 2006 | | ||
| | Today we celebrate Happy100's successful escape from the hospital! After several failed attempts (including dressing up as a nurse, abseiling and a full blown massacre), she's out of the straight jacket and into civilisation! May God have mercy on all our souls... I just finished work and have a bit of spare time before my mince defrosts so I thought I'd update the newsies. I'm so hungry, my poor belly. I've been having a bit of a digestive problem of late but I'm guessing that's not the sort of thing most civilised people would boast about. (Happy's come out of the hospital, MHG gets carted in...) | |
| | The Plain just got Plainer! : 17 March 2006 | | ||
| | I've been posessed by the HTML ghoulie again. It creeped up, wearing an innocent looking poncho, fake curly ginger moustache, looking dead casual like and then... it entered me! Well I think it was the HTML ghoulie... Anyway, since I've finished, erm, something (check the notorious) I've decided to remodel the plain page. For those of you who don't know, the plain page is just a text based page for those of you who don't like flash files with lots of colours and that. Hrmph. I'm sure I didn't describe that correctly. Well, have a look for yourself at this link. Erm, link. Other then that, things have been fine. I was very pleased to have my Dad visit me at work and show him all my icings and all the eggs that Thorntons do. Had a random text from Happy100 saying, "Or a pony?" which, honestly, could be about anything and Lupus realises that 9/11 was probably quite an important thing after all. Hmm, oh yes, plain page! Go see it, it's grrreat! Honest. While you're there, look at some strips for me will you? Thanks. | |
| | Budge the Bulk : 21 March 2006 | | ||
| | Today I finally received my UK Registration Certificate for the car I've had for far too many months now. It's like an official looking form which'll say that my car is mine and it's got all these lovely colours on it as well. I feel almost guilty about selling it now. Yes the streets can sigh a huge sigh of relief as I am getting rid of my car. The giant sod is in the way ALL the time and it's a bit of an eye sore. Thing is, I'm so used to walking everywhere that I don't think I entirely want to drive. Well, I do, but I also like to keep my current weight and I feel that if I drive everywhere, I'll gain the stones back on. Speaking of weight, I bought some new casual clothes the other day. My old casual clothes don't fit me anymore and I dare not wear them in case there is a sudden strong wind and I get blown away. So I got me some trendy jeans, trendy shirt, a red and white top and black belt. I know what you're thinking, not very news worthy, but hey, when you've been a big lad all your life, little things like this really perks you up. And I am well and truly perked. That sounds so wrong... | |
| | Mamma Spank... : 23 March 2006 | | ||
| | Progress on Chapter 24 is going well. I've finished writing the dialogue in my new fancy rubber book so I'm being very organised about the whole thing. Makes a change. Speaking of Chapters, Chapter 23 - The Hitch is being released on 26 March 2006! Not only is it Mother's Day (in the UK) but it's also going to be Steve & Bob's second birthday! Yes ladies and gents, this time two years ago I was fretting about whether or not another web owner was ever going to put my comics on their site, unknown by me that it was going to be shown to the world that week! To celebrate, I want everyone to e-mail someone you know and tell them about the site. I really, really would like it if we reached double figures on Sunday. If I got those hits, it'd rock like a mother. So to speak. | |
| | One day left : 25 March 2006 | | ||
| | After several painful months of waiting, the world (or Toxicfire) will finally be able to view Chapter 23 - The Hitch tomorrow! Sort of ironic that it should be called The Hitch as I've had more trouble with this chapter then with any other. Chapter 15 - The Deathly Blackout nearly took it's crown as I had a terrible flu while I was making those strips and my eyes turned an unhealthy shade of bright red while I spent hours shading in all the characters. It truly has been a test of patience what with me having a nose bleed all over a finished page (featuring four strips), the Christmas season, the Valentines season, my external hard drive dying on me, my computer contracting a virus, having the do a full system restore (thus threatening the strips as a whole) have made this the mose difficult chapter to complete EVEN THOUGH it doesn't look half as good as Chapter 15... That said, I love this chapter and am very proud of the way it's turned out. ARGH, I wish I could tell you more but you've only got one day left to wait! Anyone new here, feel free to Sign the Guestbook as it would be nice to have some non-robots submit something for once. Until tomorrow then... | |
| | Show Your Bones : 27 March 2006 | | ||
| | After struggling this morning to get the second strip up, rattle went the post box and there it was, the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album, Show Your Bones! Yeeeay!!! What can I say? It's brilliant! That's all I can say (as I've not heard all of it yet) but all I can say it that I love it. That's about it really. Other then that there was a new work experience girl at work, there was lots of moving about with the chocolate eggs, another power cut, steady progress on Chapter 24 and just a general feeling of satisfaction for the whole day. It feels so great to have finished The Hitch, everything seems to be going well at the moment. Today was a good day. | |
| | Lump in my Throat : 28 March 2006 | | ||
| | This morning, as I was in the process of making Chapter 24, I thought, "Ooh, it's a bit chilly" So I put the heating on. I also thought, "By golly, chapters 23 and 24 have had a lot of help from a particular photo resource website. Why not plug them?" So, I will. The site is called Image*After and you can locate them here. In other news, I've got a lump just under my jaw. It's been there for ages and I thought it'd go away but neigh, it hasn't. If anything it's grown. So I'm going to the quack on Friday. On the plus side, that's another person I can tell about my comic strip! Yeay! (I KNEW I was jinxing myself yesterday...) | |
| | Knock, knock. Who's there? : 31 March 2006 | | ||
| | Who ever invented seven o'clock should be shot. It's just not natural waking up at that time in the morning. But alas, it's that time of the decade again; I had to go for a medical check up. After falling asleep in the toilet, in the shower, on the bathroom floor, on the stairs and inside the cupboard under the stairs, I came to the conclusion that it's probably best NOT to spend all the night before playing World of Warcraft on the computer. I didn't even level as well. But I'm getting side tracked. Doctor, yes... He checked me height, my weight, he asked me if I'd always been slim at which point I said, "Last time I came you told me I was too fat. There's no satisfying some people." Well, no, I'd never be that rude. Well, not intentionally. Then he wrote me a letter to get my blood tested and then get an X-Ray. At which point, I said, "Err, I actually came for this lump under my jaw." Got there in the end. I still had the blood test (which stung only afterwards) and X-Ray and will get the results in two weeks. In typical Mike tradition it clashes with my Birthday. But enough about me, lets talk about you... What do you think about me? | |
| | Bunnytastic! : 3 April 2006 | | ||
| |  Easter is coming Santa's getting fat- Wait, that's wrong...Yep, it's Easter Season and our little chocolate shop is doing very well. A bit too well. We might run out of eggs actually (which isn't really a good look for a chocolate shop but hey ho). The icing is flowing and I've been inspired to ice more then names on the eggs... When customers ask me, "So, where's the machine that does the icing on the eggs?" I say, "Here I am!" At which point they look nervous. That's until they see the egg I've iced on and then they let out an orgasmic scream of glee and tell me I'm a genius. Well, who am I to argue? And it's so rare to see anything orgasmic these days... (Kids, it's something to do with plants, like organic but funnier) Anyway, here is one of my endeavours, my pride and joy, a iced rabbit on a milk chocolate egg! Woo! Looks great in the shop. Problem is, when I'm not there, customers want ten of them the same and the other staff can't ice bunnies like I do. Ah well, what can you do? Point and laugh I guess... | |
| | McDougal & Harold : 4 April 2006 | | ||
| | Well that was another day off wasted. Didn't do any work on Chapter 24 at all but spent it all playing World of Warcraft instead. Damn it's good looks, weather effects and monotomous fighting system! Let me just introduce you to my character...
I don't know why I'm doing an impression of a ghost. Sorry, I've been listening to Chris Moyles all day today and am in a bit of a silly mood. | |
Lo, and behold, for it has come to pass. Yes, I am McDougal. A Troll. Who speaks with a Jamacian accent so I guess Lord of the Ringss talk won't work...| | A Very Special Day... : 13 April 2006 | | ||
| |  It's true, today is a very special day. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's National Gaby Roslin Day! Gaby Roslin shot to fame with the British television show The Big Breakfast with co-host Chris Evans. She has sponsored many charities and stuff and is very nice on screen. But what about off screen?What many people don't know is that on the 23rd of June, 1996, Gaby Roslin was actually replaced on the Big Breakfast by Anna Rice wearing a Gaby Roslin suit. It was her plan to use her new disguise to use Chris Evan's glasses to set fire to the Big Breakfast house and thus destroying the competition once and for all. What she didn't know is that under the foundations of the Big Breakfast house was an ancient pagan burial ground where a legendary black witch Damien Hunter who threatened to devour the entire a country with the red dragon. This was until the valiant Gaby Roslin broke free from her metal cage and moulded it to fashion a rather dashing sword. But when Gaby went to confront Anna Rice it was too late. Consumed by power and a need to dominate all, Anna Rice set fire to the Big Breakfast house. After whacking Anna over the head with a giant prop of a slice of toast, Gaby shot lasers out of her eyes and put out the fire. Lo and behold, Gaby Roslin had saved the world thus making this National Gaby Roslin Day! That and it's my birthday... | |
| | No more of that sodding Gaby Roslin! : 18 April 2006 | | ||
| | Considering it was only Gaby Roslin day on the 13th, it certainly did spread out a bit. Well, the chaos that is the Easter Season is finally over. Hoo-flipping-ray. We still don't have a manager in the shop so I'm responisble for a lot of the stuff there which means that the site will be seeing more delays. I will try and update more often but I am flesh and bone and not steel and adamantium like Spider-man. I'm still regularly visiting the forums and reading the guestbook entries so do please carry on talking about the strips! It was so much fun making The Hitch that I'd love to hear what everyone thinks about it! | |
| | There's nothing more satisfying then chilling with your mates. Nothing worse then saying good-bye : 20 April 2006 | | ||
| | I tell you what, there's nothing quite like having a day off. Sure it would have been good if I actually did some strips but I'm just enjoying doing nothing. Doing nothing is underrated. The highlight being that I met my old boss at his new work place today. We didn't do much really, just chatted and ate (I arrived during his lunch break). Strange how little things like that can make your day but there really, really is nothing better then visiting mates and chilling out. I'm plotting yet another front page remake (I can hear you groaning). It happens every time I buy a web design magazine. I get inspired to change everything. Just so you know, I'm plotting to make the navigation a bigger focus and make everything bolder. Yes, I did say bolder. Some of you may be pleased to know that I'm plotting to get rid of the yellow. Strangely, I've grown fond of it. *Strokes the yellow* | |
| | Good-bye & Get out! : 23 April 2006 | | ||
| | Today was the last day of work for one of my work colleagues so, feeling a bit generous I decided to get her a card during my break. I popped over to Birthdays but I wasn't too sure what to get. They have lovely cards but I really wanted to get something that wasn't too soppy. So I popped into Clintons. As I walked into Clintons I saw a very shifty looking man, obviously mad, with a bunch of Eeyore (Winnie the Pooh fame) cuddly toys in his fist. I tried catching the sales assistant's eye but they looked a bit panicky and couldn't see what I could see. He shoved them in his pocket and I just lost it. "Excuse me, did you pay for those?" "What?" "Those toys that are in your pocket." "What toys?" "I saw you grab a bunch of toys and stuff them in your pocket!" "No, I-" "Take them out." "Take what out?" "Take them out!" He takes the toys out of his pocket and puts them back. At which point he turns to the girls and says, "Who is this guy?" "I work here, now get out!" "What the, I don't-" At which point I put my hand on his back and took him out of the shop. I found the card I was looking for, paid for it and the girls thanked me for saving the day. I've gotta say, I did feel quite proud that I did catch a theif. It's a shame I can't actually catch them in my own shop. But even still, for one day, I was a hero... | |
| | Quiet Days : 30 April 2006 | | ||
| | Wisdom has taught me to never begrudge quiet days but today was so slow it was practically going backwards. Work is just so quiet! We're usually really busy with the ice-cream but with the weather being stubbornly undecided it was just so quiet. (Re-emphasises the quietness of the day) One thing that greatly amused my work colleges was me going out in the street with toffee samples trying to get people in the shop. Okay no one came into the shop, but I always enjoy giving sweeties to the general public. Strawberry and Cream flavoured toffee. Goodbye fillings, hello tastebuds! No Chapter 24 news as of yet (as it's on a stand still until the new Manager settles in) but until then, there's a few more strips left in The Hitch, so, yeay! | |
| | Slither : 2 May 2006 | | ||
| | Feeling considerably vulnerable the entire day, I was glad when a friend popped over after work. Even happier to know that I have two days off and happier still that we were going to the cinema to see Slither. It was hyped to be a horror comedy equal to Shaun of the Dead. Man, it really wasn't. It was silly but it wasn't funny in the slightest. What was funny though is the story that happened before we saw the film. As my mate was getting sweeties, I went to reserve a seat in the cinema. I knew the area was quiet but there was literally no on in the room bar the cleaner. I sat there for five minutes (at which point I texted my mate saying, "There's no one in the cinema!") when the thought occurred to me, "This is the wrong room". I left the room and saw that I was in screen 1 instead of screen 2. I walked into screen 2, saw my mate with a very concerned look on his face and then we both just burst out laughing. | |
| | Love triangles have three corners, right? : 5 May 2006 | | ||
| | That's it! The last of Chapter 23's strips! The Hitch is over! Gaah... The Hitch has been the most complicated chapter to date with three re-writes (and I've never re-written any of the chapters before). One of the biggest changes was the fight between Shelly and Jo. It was originally a argument involving psychological babble. then it was psychologically babble glossed over by the male character's lack of interest in their affairs. Finally I decided, "That's it, there's going to have to be a fight! A proper fight! A slapping, bitting, chair swinging, eye poking, Dallas come Bottom brutal and clumsy fight!" Yep, those were my words exactly... I also played with the conflict of Steve's feelings throughout. At the begining he was just climbing out of bed with someone who seems so right for him. At the end, he's leaving the country without her! This is the start of a challenging time for Steve as he is forced to turn back into his old, single self again. But his relationship with Shelly and Jo has changed him so much, he can't really be the same again. Which is why the next chapter will be called, "Chapter 24: Peter Nurse" | |
| | Flashbacks : 9 May 2006 | | ||
| | Today I've been doing a lot of thinking about the characters. I've been thinking about their personalities, their drives and their history. I've come to the conclusion that their history is certainly crucial but it's never been a main focus. It's never been a main focus because I hate flash blacks. Don't get me wrong, flashbacks are a good thing but it only works for sci-fi. The TV show Lost deals with flashbacks constantly and has become a trademark for the show. In fact, the first series was so full of flashbacks; you could be forgiven for not remembering that there was a tense plot and polar bears in a jungle. Another influence of mine that uses flashbacks in quite a clever way is Harry Potter. There's an artefact in it called the Pensieve where you can store your memories. It's clever in the sense that it's a more logical way of doing a flashback then just zooming into someone's mind and seeing the past. It's solid, you can see it, you can touch it. The memories are taken from someone but when you view it through the pensieve, you can stray from said person and view the environment. Quite a clever little feature. Then there's a film called Memento. The main character has a mental condition where he constantly has amnesia every hour or so. In a rather unique way, the film is told backwards. It's not the sort of film you can half watch and understand, it requires your full attention. Another film that plays with flashbacks is Pulp Fiction. Unlike Memento, it is done to compliment the plot and give everything a certain amount of style but, like Memento, it is confusing! "So, why all the talk about flashbacks?" I hear you cry. I've already said I don't like them. The main hub, the centre of everything in Steve & Bob is in the pub. So, to compliment the theme, the past is often told in stories. Steve is often sat in the pub telling Bob about his ex-wife, giving clues as to the sort of past he had. It's never the complete story but then again, I'm not one for spelling things out. Flashbacks are an important tool for developing characters and personalities, but they can also be abrupt and interfere with the flow of the story telling. It's an old method yet it's still considered quite stylish in a time where music videos switch cameras every second to show a different angle of the singer, his band, his environment and so forth. Abruptness like this sort of works in music videos because they are like short stories (thus making directors feel like they must cram as much in them as possible). But after seeing Mission Impossible 3 tonight, I feel the abruptness element shouldn't be implemented in a film that is one and a half hours long. So there you go, my thoughts on flashbacks and fast tracking. An excellent tool for developing characters IF you know how to use it to the story's advantage. And rantings in pubs is certainly the way to go for Steve & Bob. | |
| | How to Defuse an Atomic Ice Cream : 11 May 2006 | | ||
| | Picture the scene, there's Me serving ice-cream, a pregnant lady and a lady with a pram. Got it? Good. Pregnant Lady: How much are the ice creams? And that's my funny customer story for the day. The moral of the story, if you want to defuse a hostile ice cream situation, a bit of flirting can go a long way! | |
| | Star Crossed Lovers : 22 May 2006 | | ||
| | So, a work collegue and I were taking a time out where we were talking about under age girls trying to seduce older boys. She argued that girls at 14 never really fall in love and I argued that Romeo and Juliet were 14 or 13. She argued that they weren't really in love, it was an infatuation. At which point I started expressing my greater knowledge of Romeo and Juliet and my collegue said, "You know a lot about Romeo and Juliet then?" I said, "Oh, I played Romeo." Then she said, "I played Juilet." At this point I decided that we should hug (as it was meant to be) when we both bashed each other's heads. We both retreated and agreed it wasn't meant to be. Then, of course, the boss comes back and it looks like I've been lounging about, chatting for the whole hour she's been away. Oh to have a good reputation... | |
| | The Perils of Peril : 2 June 2006 | | ||
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