Several changes, some obvious, some less so. Firstly, all the snow has gone and I’m very sad about that. Last week, walking in the park with the dog was the most delightful thing ever. I even made a little video of the dog sniffing around in the snow and put it on YouTube because I am THAT unemployed.
Also, since it’s nearly Valentine’s Day, I have put up three new skins to celebrate the day! First there was Bob, dressed as a rather dubious and disturbing Cupid, secondly was Steve as a gentleman with a bunch of roses and an angry bee and finally, for the first time in a skin, Fiona in a nurse’s outfit holding KY Jelly. Yes, that really is a name of a character.
Other then that, there’s not really much else to say. Oh, other then I’m working on Chapter 28 but is that really deemed as news on this site anymore?
Lets talk about snow!

I’m confused. Very grateful but still very confused. It seems that the majority of hits for the site lately have been from a porn site (of all the places!) It’s disgraceful, it’s degrading but it’s hits, so I thought I’d start my “Advertise in Porn” appeal.
Yes, for all of those viewers who are old enough to view the repetitive naked gymnastics online, if they happen to have a blog or guestbook or anything else, write a message like “nice gymnastics” or something and then link to the site!
I mean, it’s not something that I condone of course, but if people like "Captain Underpants" insist on sharing the site, then who am I to judge Captain Underpants?
In other news, buzzComix seems to have died or something so the Vote for Steve & Bob button now leads to the Top Web Comics. Vote every day and I'll love you forever. But not in a naked gymnastics way.

Last night I was looking through the UK Web and Mini Comic Thing Exhibition Website when I saw a thread talking about the Anthology. Basically, every year they release this amazing anthology filled with artwork from people based around a certain theme. The first year was Important stuff, last year was Giraffes and I discovered that this year’s theme is Mars. I discovered this last night. Last night was the day the entries deadline.
I panicked.
A lot.
This was a yearly tradition that I loved and relished in doing as much as I could for it. I usually got an email saying what the theme was but I didn’t this year, so it was like Armageddon in my bedroom.
I grabbed my note pad, wrote a very rushed script, drew it, realised it was WAAAY too dark, rewrote it and re-drew it. Then came the task of scanning, colouring in (which always takes a long time) and adding words and adding special effects to make it look like it was taken with a camcorder.
It was a long attempt but viola! I really hope they do put it in the anthology this year, I love that Steve & Bob is always part of the yearly thing.

That and I need to give a huge thank you to RussArulo who was INSPIRED by Steve & Bob to make alcoholic beverages! Now, of course, if you’re underage then alcohol is pretty rubbish and kills you and makes you throw up and confused so don’t try these at home, but if you are an adult and like doing silly things, then here are the official Steve & Bob drinks! Also, another warning, RussArulo's gallery contains some very adult images so do not view them if you are easily offended or under 18 please.
Ennnnnnnnnjoy!

"For whatever reason, I seem to be good at making drinks that creep up on those who partake. In honor of mhg's character Steve, I whipped up a little something that I call the Smooth Criminal.

1/4 cup (60 ml) crème de banana
1/8 cup (30 ml) amaretto
1 tsp (5 ml) dark crème de cacao
1 tsp (5 ml) hazelnut syrup

Pour over 3 or 4 ice cubes, saving syrup for last; stir. The color should resemble that of amber or ginger (ha). Just look at Steve's fur. That'll be about what you're shooting for. I'd use gold rum if I had it, and that would probably take out the need for the crème de cacao if I did.

Coming up with one for Bob will be tougher...

EDIT: I guess not! Behold, the Neon Nuisance. This is, fittingly, a shot.

1 tbsp (15 ml) blue curaçao
1-1.5 tsp (5-8 ml) milk (I used 1% myself)
1 tbsp (15 ml) whipped cream
1/2 tsp (2-3 ml) grenadine, pomegranate schnapps or crème de fraise (your choice; they're all good.)

Pour the curaçao and milk into a shot glass -- should be about a shade of blue that I can only describe as electric pastel. If the alcohol seems a bit strong, by all means, use a fattier milk or cream, but that will alter the color.

On a separate dish, combine the whipped cream and final ingredient of your choice until the cream turns a shade of pink (for the inside of his ears). Scoop atop the shot glass and enjoy.”

Also, having just read (and lurved) Watchmen, I won tickets to see the film, for free, this Thursday! I wanted Loop to come with me, but alas, he couldn’t come as it was cost too much dough, so I might still need someone to come with me so I don’t look like a sad loser.

It’s finally been decided. I’ve finished the first few strips for Chapter 28 - Eingang des Teufels and the first strip will be released...

The strips will then be released WEEKLY instead of daily, just to keep the content flowing smoothly and consistently, with the exception of Saturday the 28th when I shall released a strip that day to celebrate the UK Web and Mini Comix Exhibition Thing (and it’s one of those strips with one of those epic panels).
Tell your friends and tell your enemies, Steve & Bob is back, and there is nothing more dangerous then the Devil’s Garden.

Here it is, a year later and strip number 607 is finally released! The first of 17 new strips for Chapter 28 - Eingang des Teufels, FINALLY resolving what happened when Shelly planted that punch in Steve’s face!
Feel free to post your comments in the shoutbox in the left and please be gentle, I’m very nervous about this one.
It feels great working on the strips again after so long. I just needed a break to remind me that the real reason I released these strips in the first place was to show them to people.
Now, not only are people seeing these strips, they are requesting for more! As if 606 strips wasn’t enough! After much thought, a fair few re-writes I’ve decided to revert to the style originally seen in chapter 27, but without the dreamy, blurry look. This chapter is visually a lot brighter with all the shading, but the context of the story is that bit more, well, not adult but grown up.

Loop/Kara says:
 So what film should I watch? And not Brokeback Mountain.
 Because I know you liked the film.
MHG says:
 i didn't actually
 thought it was ****ing depressing
Loop/Kara says:
 You didn’t?!
 Ah, my bad
MHG says:
 If it ended in a musical number, then it would have been better
 aaaaaaaaaand that's the quote of the day!
Loop/Kara says:
 Indeed

The crescent moon shone meekly as it waned, casting its diminishing beams, themselves gifts and remnants from the reign of the Sun, across its fastly fleeting dominion of shadow and frost.

Cast across the frozen fields, the grass rigid and greying from the cold.
Cast through the trees, leafless for now, sleeping for the warm, silently grasping at the sky with bony fingers.
Cast along the rooftops, the slowly-setting ice creating outlines of light set across the pitch of dark eternity above.

Cast amongst the sliding and fibrous materials of the beast below, tubes and plates alike, woven from steel and silver, taking place of sinew and muscle, flexing, tensing, waiting for the release, the culmination of their pense. The prey will appear soon and all will be for naught if the beast finds itself wanting.

The environs, that which has become its hunting ground, are truly the remnants of desolate times, an age of despair, pitted with the acts of the damned and the desperate. The beast knows nothing of those that came before, or those who may come after, these things better left to those who cared to dream. To this one, all that matters was the hunt, the kill, the consuming.
And the wait was part of the hunt. It could afford no mistakes; its last was almost its final. The beast had no measure of time but it had been a very long time since that mistake, and in its resting moments the beast has began to idly scratch the scars that adorned its face, and to which it nearly lost an eye. Potent and constant reminders, if it should ever have needed any.

Time grew shorter, prey grew closer, but the beast, atop its vantage point, cocked its head to the sky. Rarely did sound play out across this ruined landscape, life and the elements long since departed. It lent an eerie solitude to the vista, certainly it permitted one to hear their innermost thoughts, although such things were wasted on the beast. Instead it was with something akin to surprise that it heard its prey. By no means an unusual turn of events, it was definitely unexpected and would give the beast cause to stop and rethink its plan. But thinking was beyond it now, instinct being its sole driving force, and besides, it had already committed fully to its course of action regardless.

Presently, its prey came into focus, bringing with it, to the beast, the light of salvation and sustenance. Illuminating its past course as a tail of electrified air, and leading the way into the ever stretching future, the light cast from the prey would direct it straight into the ambush of the beast. The beast that now, upon seeing its prey, made to ignore the fresh sense of wariness that its senses fed upon.

This prey was not usual fare. This had gorged itself, grown large and powerful. Its movements along the landscape crushing the debris with the sheer magnitude of force it exuded. A loner, distanced from its kind, becoming tough and unyielding. In times gone by the beast would have returned with more of its kin to take down such prey, but not this time. There were no kin, there was no time, it would have to perform this monumental feat itself. Failure meant death. Sloth meant destruction.

The prey arrived beneath the outcrop of ruin, from which the beast would pounce. Its prey had weak eyesight but the beast had covered itself nonetheless. This cover of rubble, rags and dust, a coating of filth, discarded to the wind as the beast pounced. Contact was made, the beast puncturing the flank of its prey with talons sharpened and practiced through usage of the ages. Immediately its prey rasped in pain, its cry edged with lightning as it sent terrible shockwaves pulsing through itself. The beast knew what to expect from a normal specimen, but the pain this time was immense. Barely holding onto consciousness from the bolts still arcing across its own body, it snapped forwards, tearing a large chunk from its prey with its powerful jaws, its extended under bite helping to gouge deeply, and paying dividends. With that lunge it had succeeded in rending the prey's defence mechanism from its body, and as the energy surges faded and the beast's power returned, an emotion thought long lost had resurfaced; satisfaction.

It was to be short-lived. Its prey had not lived so long and grown so copiously that it had not learnt how to defend itself - its serpentine body, a mass of scars, proof of this. The beast had weakened it, but the fight was far from over. As the beast took a moment to revel, the immunisation of its prey dimmed, usually a portent of its death.
Not this time. This time, a sign of a most powerful counter.
Craning its head, forking its tongue in the direction of its assailant, it lunged, grasping the beast in its own jaws, and released.

Immense pain slammed into the beast with a force it had never known possible, as it was violently repelled away, crushing limbs and demolishing ambience alike as it tumbled across the dead earth. A rear limb bursts open as it lands, and precious blue fluid leaks from the gaping wound. Its task was hard before, and now? Perhaps death would be the better option. It would mean peace, and the hunt had for a long time grown more difficult, its prey more sparse...

The large serpent creature, no longer merely prey, coursed through the air following the blue spatters to its assailant. It had become badly damaged in the attack, but consuming this sharp-claw would give it what it needed to heal, and make itself stronger still. It glided ever closer to its fallen foe, wrapping its tail section around the beast's cripped legs, even daring as to move so close its weak eyes could see the face of its enemy.

A bad decision.
As the serpent reared for the killing strike, the beast, in a last-ditch attack, contorted its metalling musculature, sending all its power into one forelimb, bolstering its mass to an obscene limit, its claws hastily recoating themselves, enlargement, the blades turning from dull grey to vibrant silver, and with all mustered might, the beast thrust its warped weapon, its twisting shredding claws, and its very will to survive, into its prey, all thought of submission quelled beneath the risen tide of hunger.

Death came quickly to the serpent creature, several weak bursts of lightning escaping and charring the earth, and as it fell, the beast shifted its anatomy once again. As the light left the prey and darkness returned, so too did consciousness depart from the beast. its reshaping would continue as it slept and it would be mercifully unaware of the pain of recreation. Its leg would be healed, but weak, and when it awoke it would feast upon its well-earned meal.

And as it lay inactive, the beast dreamt of another life where its kin, long since extinct, would lavish praise for its kill and sate its emotion, and its mate would reward it and sate its body.

Just wanted to say happy mother’s day to.... well, guess...
I love that Moon Pig advert on the telly, advertising that you can personalise your Mother’s Day card so it can say her name! And to illustrate that, they show a card that says, “Happy Mothers Day ----“ Now, the dashes indicate the word you can replace so you can put a name. Guess what name they put in the dashes! Go on, guess! Yes, it’s “Mum”! I couldn’t believe it when I saw it and burst out laughing!
Ooooh I’m so lonely...
Well, it’s Mother’s Day and since my Mum is living in a different island, I just wanted to wish he a happy Mothering Sunday via the internets. I’m afraid I didn’t get you a personalised card which says your name because... They’re stupid.
Have a nice one Mum!
Also, it’s a Sunday, so time for a neeeeew strip!
Now, odd as this sounds, but I was originally going to give the punch line to Steve where Shell would wake him up, but then I realised, “Why would SHE wake HIM up if she had just been tranquillised?”
It’s kindda nice to give Shell the last laugh. So many times she helps the joke move on, but it’s nice to take that limelight away from Steve. It’s the least I could do after she just spent a year beating up Steve...
Also, you may never see owls in quite the same way again...

This is going to be a busy week.
Firstly, on Thursday, the Steve & Bob Webcomic will be five years old! Now even though this comic is now a weekly series, I will be releasing a comic on this day to celebrate. It is a very sweet comic so prepare to say “AWW!”
Secondly, I’ve just created a quiz on Facebook asking the question, “Which Steve & Bob Character are You?” It was a lot of fun thinking up the answers to the questions, my personal favourite answer is to the question, “Do you believe in God?” to which one of the answers is, “Well, if my mother exists, then lets hope the opposite does as well.” If you’ve got Facebook, take the quiz and keep the quiz alive!
Thirdly, and possibly the most importantly, there’s a UK Web and Mini Comix Exhibition Thing on Saturday. Having bought a new suitcase, I’ve discovered it’s too small so I’ll have to exchange it, but other than that, everything else seems to be in order.On my table, you will see me, hello, as well as issues one and two of Steve & Bob. I highly recommend issue two as it has one of my favourite pictures of Bob ever!
Also I’ll be selling the first issue of the never before seen comic of Elemental Micah. This is the side project I’ve been working on since I stopped S&B last year and it’s a very adult affair. It’s a home printed comic so there’s a lot of love in it and it is limited to 49 copies, so once it’s gone, it’s gone.
Elemental Micah is about a 17 year old who discovers he’s got powers when he loses his virginity. When you read it, you will find a lot of the humour from Steve and Bob, but unlike S∓B, it’s a story and not in strip form. Also it does have humans, but don’t let that put you off!
I’m starting to get nervous about Saturday now but I’m also excited. All I need is to add a few new bits to my portfolio and grab a bigger suitcase and I’ll be ready.
Well, possibly make a sandwich or two...

Five years.
FIVE YEARS!
How on earth did that happen? I remember like it was yesterday when I released the first comic strip and it didn’t even have a name back then. Well, I called it “Steve” but the people who were hosting it called it “Steve and Bob” so yeah, that was weird.
FIVE YEARS!
So much has happened since then, most of which has luckily been documented into the newsie bits. But also, to celebrate I’m releasing the 3rd strip of chapter 28 early. Today in fact and I think it’s one of the best look S&B strips yet. The first panel itself took such a long time to do but it never felt like work and even as I did it one piece at a time, it all slowly managed to fit together.
Not only that, but it’s also one of the sweetest strips in the series, showing a true fondness between Steve and Shelly. It’s like the whole fiasco with Jo had never happened (and to be honest, it never DID happen!)
To make the day extra special, I’ve also won tickets to see the film, “The Boat that Rocked” with nick Frost. I don’t really have any expectation of this film other then I hope it’s very silly, but they sure picked a great day to show it to the world!

Howdy everyone.
I’m ready! I’m packed with numerous things. In fact, more things than I have ever had at an exhibition. At table 37, you’ll find the following:* Leaflets for Steve & Bob and Elemental Micah.
* Steve & Bob badges.
* Issue one of Steve & Bob
* The Brand New issue two of Steve & Bob
* Issue One of Elemental Micah, which are limited to 49 pieces, each one numbered.
* Four unique prints from Steve & Bob including a desert scene taken from chapter 25, Dave Duff’s “I Like Bears”, Shelly’s Motorbike and a rather odd strip taken from the first UK Web and Mini Comix Exhibition.
*A Portfolio with new material from Elemental Micah and Steve & Bob.
Now as long as I can get there in one piece and in time (unlike last year, oh you should have SEEN the panic attack!)
I hope to see you guys at Mile End on Saturday and coz I have to go to bed early, here’s Saturday’s strip early, but if anyone asks, it came out on Saturday. Just between you and me...

It is guaranteed to never turn out quite the way you’d expect no matter how much you prepare. I sat next to Andy from andycoxhead.com who turned out to be incredibly interesting and we started nattering away as soon as I arrived. Then I prepared my huge table, which I was very proud of. I put up posters in the front, put out all the comics (I think you know which ones by now) badges, prints and a portfolio. The portfolio was something I had just finished the previous day showing stuff I won’t be showing the internets just yet, but it’s stuff I’m very proud of.
I managed to embarrass myself to the guys at the Hope for the Future table just by pointing at their stand and saying, very loudly, "HOPE FOR THE FUTURE! I LOVE YOUR COMIC! Oh man, I read it on the tube last year and whoa, I loved the Bits reference!" And if you don’t know what Bits is, it was a late night computer games show featuring two hot girls and an American girl. It was only when I was on the tube back that I remembered the movie show after Bits with the Scottish guy.
Memories...
There was also the friendly guys at the Not Regret Studios table who gave me a very impressive Chinese takeaway box filled with quite literally STUFF for a trade for ish’s 1 and 2 of S&B. I could have chatted with them all day (probably to their dismay) but I did my duty and carried my Chinese Takeaway box around the hall, saying to people, "Oh this thing? They’re over there!"
There were, of course, the obligatory miserable people too. Unfortunately I didn’t have my rubber bands to flick at them this year (the one good thing I got right on my first year) and luckily Weebl and Bob weren’t there to slouch miserably at their table this year, but generally there was a good vibe (Although Andy and I agreed that not nearly enough people came down our section).
Afterwards I went out with the beautiful Julia who also had a table and the amazing Dani. Both of whom are brilliant artist and whom I used to work with in the old comic shop. Julia even did a doodle for me in her comic, which I shall treasure. Unfortunately, she did ask me to doodle in the S&B book. Normally I’d love to do this, but the pen they gave me was very wispy and paintbrushy and I had no idea how to use it so I apologise for the rubbishness of the doodle I did of Steve.
After the expo, we all went to the pub and had a right giggle. I’m not much of a drinker (Shock! Horror!) so when I nearly fell over after my first pint, I did get ridiculed every so slightly. Then things REALLY began spinning after the drinking game. We were playing the, “I’ve never...” game were you say something you’ve never done and if someone on that table HAS done this thing, they take a drink. I finished my drink very quickly then.
Sadly I didn’t do my pint in one drink thing that I usually do at these things, which would have been met with applause, but I really feel like I’ve made some good friends that night. Friends I will know by sight and not by name...