Urg... Ill...
Finally, as soon as my internet connection is working, I write a newsie about the past few days (cheers to Klesk Vadrigaar for writing the newsies the other day.)
Saturday night started off gloriously. I was in good company and spent the whole night chatting in a café restuarant. Feeling adventurous, I decided to eat something I wouldn't normallly eat. Chicken with cream, caramelised onions and potatoes.
Boy was that a bad idea.
After what was a wonderful night, I went home and started chatting on MSN to Lupus. As the conversation progressed and links to YouTube were exchanged (cats running around and falling over always makes me laugh) I discovered that my stomache was really starting to hurt.
After bidding my good friend Lupus adieu, I was about to climb into bed when I just stood there. It was such a strange sensation, I'd never felt anything like it before. Like some enormous tap, I bent over and threw up on the carpet floor.
This was horrendous, I've not been sick like that since I was five years old and of all the places to be sick, it was on the carpet. The most difficult thing to clean. After spending half an hour shaking and falling to pieces, I called for help (which was painful in itself as it was four am).
Sunday I spent the whole day in bed. Due to the lack of food, I was generating a monster headache and, well, toilet troubles too...
Today I was supposed to come to work but since my bowels have become uncontrollable I thought it'd be best if I stayed at home.
I feel so bad as it's the Christmas period and it's going to be busy at work, but I do need to take care of myself. I hope they will be all right at work without me.
Now I'm going to focus on getting better and I'm going to keep my friends close to me.
Speaking of cats by the by...

After 48 hours of constant and never ceasing moaning, I have rejoined the forces of the cult science fiction industry loveliness.
Yes, someone has finally turned off the human fountain that is me and the only thing that I pour now is love into my fellow Englishmen's hearts.
Yes I'm feeling jolly better!
Something did trouble me though. I've reached a strip I can't finish. It has too many complicated box doo-dads and all seems a tad clichéd for my liking so I might just chop it out. Which admittedly is a bit poo.
Aside from that I'm doing dandy. As long as I stay away from dodgy looking chicken, I'll be fine.
Especially the ones selling DVDs...

Ooh, what's that to the right? What's that to the left?
New things to read! Yeay!
On the right, we have a permenant advert for this exhibition that Steve & Bob'll be featured in with me, sitting there, looking very awkward, with my fez on.
Indeed.
On the left, why it's a plug for the guestbook! Salutations!
One slight hicough though. It seems as though the old guestbook that has been around for as long as Steve & Bob itself has vanished into thin air.
I'm not sure what happened. I clicked on it to read all the old posts that people have written and it's not there anymore.
So I've added a brand spanking new guestbook with colours and words and everything!
This one's better because you can write a hell of a lot more this time round and it also features a rather lovely picture of Steve & Bob on it's header.
Woo!
So, if you have already signed my guestbook, all I can say is sorry but you can sign it again if you like! And for those who haven't signed it yet, you're more then welcome to leave your thoughts and feelings behind.
Cheers!

Dear Diary,
I think I have a new stalker (some of you might remember "kiwi", who had an unhealthy fascination with wanting to suck my lemons, and has/had an online girlfriend named "cherry"......undoubtedly the result of some kind of fruit fetish).

I was sitting in class and the girl next to me, whom I've never seen before, suddenly turns to me and inquires if I took a certain chemistry course.
Alex: Yes, I took it last year.
Girl: Great! Can I borrow your notes then to study from for my final?
Alex: Um...........................o.....kay....
Girl: *asks for my name and number*

So we arrange to meet next class so I can pass my notes to her, but she never showed. Later, she calls and tells me she had to go in for surgery or something. Then, for the next two hours, she tells me all about how stressed she is, how very little time she has, etc. It went something like so:

Girl: OMG OMG! I have, like, no time! I get home at, like 6:15pm and I sleep till 9, then I get up and study till 2am! Then I sleep, I never go out, I have no life....
Alex: Well, you know, it's okay to take a break every now and then....
Girl: NO, I CAN'T!
Alex: Well, just take 30 mins, it's okay....
Girl: You tell me how I can do that! YOU TELL ME!!!!!!!!!!

At this point, I realize she's probably not too terribly normal....

Girl: I so appreciate your helping me out! The last time I asked someone to borrow their notes, they never came to where we agreed to meet! I waited 2 hours! TWO HOURS! And then I felt bad about leaving because if she was bringing her notes they're so heavy and I'll miss her!
Alex: ....................................

Girl: And tuition is so expensive! You know what I did? I went to the Student Office and I told them I was poor and had no food and need meds! So they're giving me a $450 check! If they can exhort money from me, I can do it to them!
Alex: ....................................

(Which is technically logical, I suppose.)

Today she called me again.......and she's calling me again on Thursday......

Psychotic.................I think it must be some kind of obsessive/compulsive thing.

Just thought I'd share in case I stop coming here all of a sudden. So you'll all know she finally managed to find out where I lived.

I've finally done it! I've finally bought the Twilight Princess! Woo!
It has everything! Goats, chickens, dogs, cats, frogs....
You name it, it has it.
This game has been critisised something rotten. I can't see why, it looks absolutely lovely to me. I suppose if people did get the Wii version, then fair enough. They paid over two hundred quid to play it. But I feel that they knew what they were getting into so they've got no one to blame but themselves for believing the hype.

Arg! Actually, it's just occured to me that some people might not know what I'm going on about!

Right, well, Twilight Princess is a computer game based in the fantasy world of Hyrule. It is based on a series of games called The Legend of Zelda. Funnily enough, you never really play as Zelda but as a simple farm boy who goes out into the big, wide world with nawt but a sword and a shield.
The first Zelda game I played was Link's Awakening on the ancient brick like Gameboy. I fell in love. The story was bizzare but I kept playing because I simply had to know what happened next. You play as a boy washed up on an island with an enigmatic giant egg on top of a mountain. Bizarre? You bet.

And now I'm addicted to this game. I've been playing it for over twelve hours and I've already saved a bunch of monkey, navigated my way through lava pits and met the Twilight Princess.
My two days of non-stop playing stops tomorrow when I have to go to work, but rest asssured, I'll be solving puzzles, throwing boomerangs and swishing swords in my dreams tonight, hopefully rescuing my own kidnapped beauty.
As an ironic end to this newises, I shall end it by saying two words, "Good night!"

Instead of the usual newsie type stuff, I thought I'd get into the Christmas spirit by telling a story with some sort of moral. Are you sitting comfotable? Then I'll begin...

Three kids at a swimming pool discover a magic lamp (typical North London swimming pool then). They rub it and a genie pops out. The genie is magnificent, gianormous and purple with a twirly moustache. He says in a deep and bellowing voice that sounded even more magnificent in the echoy swimming pool:

"You have freed me! Huzzah! I will grant you three- pheh! What is that stench?"

One of the children, Daniel pipes, "What smell?"

"It's the chlorine!" Samantha says tartly. "This pool is full of chlorine! It helps keep all the germs out."

"Yeah it's hardly fun when it gets in your eyes." Says Damien squeakily. "My eyes turn bright red if I don't keep my goggles on."

"Hmm..." The genie says thoughtfully. "This is a conundrum. All right, never mind the three wishes. See that slide? You slide down it and shout out what you'd like the water to turn into and I'll make it so."

The genie waves his hands at the slide. It glows and vibrates suddenly and then turns from blue to a sparkly white.

The children looked at each other excitedly and run to the slide. Daniel climbs up the ladder, he pushes himself down the slide and shouts, "Strawberry Milkshake!"

He splashes into a mass of pink foam. His head emerges from the pool, a pink foam afro on his head and calls to the others, "You've got to try this, it's REAL strawberries!"

Samantha and Damien kneel down by the pool, cup their hands and even as they say the pink liquid in there hands, they could see strawberry slices in the technicoloured bubbles. They took a sip, greedily smacked their lips and looked at each other. They both had pink foam beards! They both laughed.

"Who is next?" Said the genie with a big grin.

Damien stood up but Samantha seemed to have conjured up a plan. "I'll go next!"

"But Samantha!" Damien said in a sulk, "I want to go next!"

"Trust me on this one." Said Samantha with an evil grin. "You won't regret this!"

Samantha put on an innocent smile as she climbed the ladder. She looked down at the lovely foamy pool, looked up at the genie and smiled deviously.

She slid down the slide and shouted, "Vintage wine!"

The aroma struck everyone in the room like a mallet to the head. The pool had been filled with the finest and rarest wine known to mankind. Daniel giggled, Samantha screeched with joy and Damien smirked stupidly.

The genie on the other hand, was not impressed.

"That was a very irresponsible thing-"

"Oh lighten up!" smiled Samantha as the aroma filled her lungs. "It's just a bit of fun!"

The genie looked insulted. But then, all of a sudden, his mood switched to mischievous.

"All right then." Said the genie with his booming voice. "If it's fun you want..."

The genie waved his hand and the slide grew. It didn't just grow upwards. It grew sideways, downwards, topsy turvy and loop-de-loopy. It had grown into a full-blown fair ground water slide!

"Oh wow!" Daniel muttered with glazed eyes.

"I want a go!" said Samantha urgently.

"No, no, you've had your go." Said the genie cheerily. "It's Damien's turn now."

Damien first looked intimidated. But when he saw Samantha's jealous face and Daniels look of glee, he knew he HAD to go on the slide.

He climbed up the ladder that seemed to have grown a hundred or so steps and sat on the very top of the slide. The fear subsided and excitement filled his heart. He pushed himself down.

It was the most fun he had ever had.

"Whoooooooooaaaa!"

Slipping and sliding, turning wildly and erratically in the tube.

"Ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa!!!"

Flipping over on his front, on his back, sliding upside down.

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

As he reached the end, he discovered to his horror that the genie had tricked them all. The pool which was such a rich colour of red suddenly turned a murky, dank, rancid yellow. The last thing Damien saw as he shot out of the tube was the genie's wide, smug grin.

Courtesy of MHG and S&B's New Forum.

It seems that art has a new effect on me.
Exhaustion.
Just before Christmas, I decided to print out a whole load of S&B related cards to everyone at work. It was an ambitious project considering the time I had to finish it all, but through sheer determination and stubbornness, I managed to get them all printed and written.
True a lot of people at work didn't even get envelopes, but I did hand the cards to people with the envelopes separately with a breathless note of, "Imagine you took the card out of the envelope and I'll be happy."
That night, we all went to the pub to wish a colleague a fond farewell when the horrible realisation struck me. I was truly and utterly exhausted. I simply couldn't keep my eyes open.
I should have known that big, rushed projects like that were bad for my health when I worked on an invitation design for a friend's Birthday last year.
Yesterday, as I was packing my things for work, I realised with horror that my big black rubber book had gone missing. This book has all the intricate details of Steve & Bob's past and future. It has the entire chapter 26 and chapter 27 and it was no longer in my bag.
As I was walking to work, my heart filled with emotion as the realisation that all that work was gone. Steve & Bob comics will have to be cancelled unless I found it. So I was determined to do what I could yesterday to try and find it.
But it seems fate had other plans. It was a friend's birthday and my boss told me to make a card. I asked her if she could get someone else to make it for him. The other artist at work who makes the cards is far better then me and has actually studied art.
After a while, I felt guilty. Yes it was a colleagues but it was also a friend's birthday and I didn't do anything to help. All I could think of was helping myself. Even still this book meant a lot to me.
My boss asked me again when she said this other artist couldn't do it, created the card for me and gave it to me to do during my lunch. After waiting for inspiration to strike, I got down to making it and was very proud of the resulting card.
When it was done, I felt I had done the right thing. This book and the comics can wait. When my friend saw the card, he loved it and that was enough. We all sat in the pub, talking and laughing and I slouched.
I was exhausted again!
When I arrived home, I sat down to watch Garth Merenghi's DARKPLACE. Then I lay down to watch it. Then I dozed off. Twelve hours later I was awake and wondering, "What the hell happened there?"
I've yet to find this little black book, but I am filled with hope that it might be hidden somewhere safe at least. And even if I don't find it, does it really matter? The comics after all can wait.
Have a good night celebrating and here's hoping for a fantastic new year!

Dear Diary:
It took me two months to finish Prince of Persia: Warrior Within and MHG was perfectly right to say that it's a completely different game than The Sands of Time. The most notable thing about it was the battle-yell the Prince kept making...sometimes when he's not even fighting...the one that sounds like he's developed constipation problems.
Fortunately, I got my twigs-arms on a copy of The Two Thrones and have been playing that. It seems that the makers of the game may have received a number of complaints about WW and wanted to make TT more like TSOT. Hence, the Prince sounds like he's got his old voice back, Farah's back, and the vizier (viziers always seem to be evil, oddly) and the Prince is no longer constipated. I'm not a fan of Kaileena's new dress, however, and Farah talks and walks like a typical American teenager.
Oh, and I'm excited about my new Snowbot too.

As I may have mentioned the other day, the sky darkened, the seas turned blood red and the earth opened up.
It opened up and ate my little black book.
But why is there a picture of some smiling gimp on today's newsies? I hear you cry.
I found it!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Let the bells ring, let the goats dance and let the mice play for I have found my little black book!
This book was purchased many a moon ago when I decided to get organised. I had many A6 sized note pads all over the place, detailing the future of Steve & Bob. I'd write things totally at random and hoped that the events would lead to something else.
Until I reached Chapter 23 - The Hitch.
This chapter took forever to do because it never did what is was supposed to do. I wrote it, re-wrote it and nothing seemed to work. Then I went into WHSmiths, decided to buy a luxury, rubbery book.
Yes, rubber.
I wrote a detailed plan of what the Hitch SHOULD be using all the notes I had and what I wanted to happen next.
Naturally I grew a fondness to this book but never realised how much until I lost it.
Many times at work, when I have my lunch, I take my sketchpad and my black book and draw a frame for the comic (or attempt to, I usually fall asleep). I was in turmoil when I lost the book as it just occurred to me that it could be anywhere! In the shop, in a Subways or McDonalds. If they found it at Subways would they keep it aside or chuck it in the bin?
The very thought of it being in the bin made my heart sink.
I spent the day feeling terrible and I realised what I had lost. All that work, all those ideas, all those chapters, all those notes and scribbles, all gone. I started to get a tad emotional.
Until recently when I checked through my bookcase (which contains no books by the way), lifted up some mags and receipts and low and behold...
I know it's stupid being so emotional about such a material thing, it's only a book after all. But I've always been possessive. This book holds all the ravings that run through my mind and some things that I didn't even know I was capable of. But most of all, it's my inspiration. So rest assured, Chapter 26 - Witness Protection is on the way and it'll be grittier and darker then ever before!
Hallelujah!

Oh what a glorious, wonderful, bright and shiny day! Today I turned back into that nine year old sitting in front of the telly, watching British comedies as the writer of Red dwarf did a signing today at Forbidden Planet!
Of course I would have been even more flabergasted to have seen the actors of Red Dwarf (and possibly would have hidden under the counter everytime they appeared) But I was dead chuffed to have the first six series of Red Dwarf DVDs signed by Rob Grant himself.
Rob Grant has a new book out called "Fat" (thus the signing) and those that know me know that I do have a certain fasination with weight and the obsessions with weight. It was only a few years ago that I used to be a hefty seventeen stone and a bit. It was only when I started working in a chocolate shop that I lost all the weight and now that I'm working in FP, I am slowing gaining it back on!
I read what the book was about and it instantly caught my interest. It's a story about three people who all have weight or fat issues.
One is an overweight man who is obsessed with losing weight, another is an anorexic girl who is obsessed with not gaining any weight and the third man is a self absorbed goverment official who is working along the lines of a fat farm initutive type thing.
Hmm, I'm not sure how I'm selling it here.
But it does sound like a very interesting story and having read Backwards, I am very intriged. Especially if the book is signed!
So, now, if you excuse me, I'm just going to rub myself against my newly signed DVD and dance the happy dance of joy of- Oh who am I kidding, I'm just going to put them on the shelf, forget about them and then look at them from time to time with a satisfied grin on my face.
I just feel bad about my mate at work who completely forgot his DVDs today. When I came in this worning ot sign them in, he asked me what I was doing. When I told him, he just looked so gutted. And then I felt totally gutted (being as forgetful as I am, I find it hard not to empathise). Hrmph!
I feel it is only relevant that I end with a Red Dwarf quote but I've forgotten them. So imagine I said something from the show that's really witty and then laugh out loud as the nostaliga comes flooding back...
Go on then!

The Internet is for Porn,
The Internet is for Porn,
Just grab your- well, you know the song…

The information super highway aka. Interweb, is a glorious thing. It makes libraries obsolete as it has everything and more on it and makes everything so accessible. Including the things you wouldn't normally get while you're in your local supermarket grabbing your pint of milk…
For the shy, retiring nerds who turn red at the slightest hint at anything a bit saucy, the internet is perfect for the pornography industry. Easy to access gratification and no one needs to be any the wiser.
So much so that pornography is the most popular and most searched thing on the net.
No surprises there.
It was only a matter of time before the television and music industry took notice of this new phenomenon and decided to do something about it. But how could they? They could hardly show all the interesting pokey bits and bobs for their new grilling machines surely?
Well, the music industry has taken notice and has changed a fair bit. Let's take, for example, Destiny's Child, JUST for an example.
When they started their careers, they were singing songs about how crap men were. They didn't pay the bills, they were 'scrubs' (I don't speak young people so I don't know) and they were generally just saying No, no and thrice no.
Lovely.
Then things went very wrong.
Suddenly they were Bootylitious. Okay, the video was very colourful but I'm not too sure about the whole bottom wobbling about the place.
Then things got a bit shoddy when Beyoncé went off by herself. Every shot of her videos had her in different outfits in varying degrees of skimpiness and varying degrees of gyrating.
Finally, the band's last video was the last nail on the coffin. They were singing about being devoted to this invisible man (what ever happened to no, no, no?) and they were completely in the nip! Kitless! No clothes on! It was embarrassing how these women were stripped of their power and were reduced to mindless puppets, helping the money wheel go round.
Hrmph!
So the moral of the story is sex sells. And it sells even more now as music videos become more grotesque and nudie like dance videos like that Eric Prince video.
Hrph!

That's the end of my rant now, I hope to see you soon and keep an eye out for the comic strip with a nude picture of Shelly!
She's got tassles and everything!

Do you believe that human beings have a soul?

Quite a vague question when you think about it. Firstly you have to ask what is a soul? Well, religion shows that inanimate objects don't have a soul and the only creatures on the Earth that do have souls are humans, so it has to be something that animals can't possess.
I originally thought the soul was the personification of love, but animals feel love. They might not know what it means or might not even give it a name, but when a cat meows softly while rubbing themselves against their owner's leg, that's love.
So what do humans possess that animals don't. Well, we're self aware, but even dolphins and monkeys are self-aware these days.
I came to the conclusion after discussing it with a friend that it must be the ability for invention. To purposefully create something for the benefit of yourselves and others. Invention is what drives us and creation is what keeps us asking questions.
Quite ironic really when the big question, "Where do we all come from?" has something to do with what's inside us in the first place.
We as humans also have the ability to give things names. For example, we wouldn't expect a dog to name itself. We're the first creatures on the planet to invent a language that categorises everything. We can organise them from where they came from. Dogs came from puppies, puppies drink milk, milk comes from their mothers, that was produced by the bone they had earlier that day. It's complicated, but it's organising the mess that we have to deal with everyday.
But if a soul has a physical presence, what could that be?
Well, that could be atoms, according to philosophers. Strange how people believe blindly in atoms even though there's not that much proof of them and not of a God. What if they are both the same thing? After out, philosophy states that atoms were there when we were born, while we live, when we die, and they carry on for the rest of eternity. Surely that's got a lot of relation to this whole God and soul business.

But that's my view. What do you think? Do you think there is something inside that is ancient and truly indescribable? Something that helps us mature nourishes us mentally and helps us gain wisdom after time?

Is there such a thing as a soul?
Feel free to read and discuss it here at our forum.

Bleah. Bleah. Bleah.
Out of the blue I have stomach cramps. Big, no messing about, kick ass stomach cramps.

Actually, saying out of the blue, is not strictly true(Oooh! I rhymed!). On Wednesday night I was off to a friends house and just had time for a quick bite to eat.

What, in Happy's world constitutes a quick bite? Well, an organic chicken pie of course! 30-35 minutes at 170C in a fan assisted oven. Crispy pastry brownin' and puffing up over the small metal tin. Chicken and mushrooms blending effortlessly with some kind or creamy mustardy sauce. Yummmmmy! (Except that I usually don't eat the pastry cuz it's a bit stodgy. And there isn't usually much meat in the dang thing. You know it's made by Duchy Originals? The Good Ole' Prince of Wales company. So it ought to be good. Right? And it IS! It IS! Except of course when you take it out of the oven ten minutes early. But I digress...)

The box said eat when cooked all the way through. Check. When it's piping hot. Check -What the heck is piping anyway? Steaming? Bubbling? Hot enough to make your finger turn pink if you shove it in the middle of said pie? - Well all of those. Check.

Except. When you take out the pre-cooked pie early.

Apparently. APPARENTLY, it has to be at a certain temperature, for a certain amount of time to make sure that any potential bugs are well and truly zapped.

And I knew that.

But I was in a rush.

And now the cramps! Ooooh! the cramps! (Well, they've started to ease off a bit now but on Wednesday night I was shivering and feeling queasy and EVERYTHING)

Now it's Friday morning. A full (I say full but there is always room for interpretation) say, 38 hours later and I start to think, that maybe, MAYBE I'm gonna LIVE and what happens?
What HAPPENS????

I have a mug of soothing lemon tea (normal tea but with fresh organic lemon juice and organic honey) and I'm sick.

Good GRIEF! I mean why does my blooming body wait for nearly two days??? Did it want to fit in a round of GOLF?

Yeesh.
Anyway, I had a point.
Oh yes! I was told my newsie had to be deep and meaningful. Sooo..
Meat pies don't have souls.
Our purpose on this planet is to enjoy life and be sure to properly cook meat pies.
And god stands for... what another 'Great Ole' Day'

You know what, I never thought I had any humility. I suppose I had to be put in a situation where my sense of character would be tested and I think that's where I discovered I had it.
The story starts with the departure of a member of the comics department. He was tall, had a very deep voice and often wore vests to work. Yes vests. With his arms out and everything. I only vaguely talked to him one night in the pub when I realised the next day he was no longer working for the company!
My heart sank!
I hardly talked to the guy and it was probably going to be the last time I saw him!
Gaah!
But he appeared in the pub the next day. And a few days after that. In fact, we still can't get rid of him! Not that I'm complaining, he has good ears for the drunken stories that spewed from the gaping orifice that was my mouth. (Phew!)
After a while, a position in the comics department opened up. (Yes, I'm noticing the sexual innuendos too, just ignore them for now.) There were people in the store who were far more knowledgeable about comics then me but I thought, sod it, this was the reason I joined in the first place.
Working on tills is fantastic, mind. You get to have a natter with the customers, point at the huge dog outside that looks like a giant wolf and go, "Aww it's so cute I just want to wub it!" and stuff like that. But when I got asked to make up a display after the Christmas one was torn down, it was like being transported back to Thorntons. I was being active again. It was like my brain was dormant but now, suddenly, new ideas were flying out left, right and centre! I was struck by inspiration and you know what, I liked it!
So when the opportunity came to get the comics job, it was an opportunity to get that surge of energy again! To play an active part of the working environment! Take boxes out, put stuff on shelves, fiddle around with variants (comics with alternating covers that cost more money) just be MORE active!
I filled out an internal application form, gave it in and had the interview a few days later. Okay, looking back there were definitely a few things I could have changed about my answers, but I was buzzing! The prospect of doing something new and working with something I'm passionate about surged through my body. By golly I wanted this job!
As I went back to the Tills, I talked to my friend who was also at Tills and also applied for the job. He was wracked with nerves and was worried that he didn't do himself justice. I knew this job meant as much to him as it did for me as it did for my other friend in Security.
This morning, the head of the comics department called me to his office. I was prepared for both news. If I got the job, then fantastic. If not, then I've still got Tills and I can still work in a fantastic store! So when I was told I didn't get the job, I did feel disappointed but I wasn't entirely surprised.
When I accidentally found out who had the job (it was a sheer coincidence that I found out. Honest), I actually found myself to be really, really happy for them. I thought, "Good for them!" For once in my life, I didn't see it as a competition, but just another stepping-stone. Okay, I failed but someone else succeeded and I was extremely happy for them. So much so that I nearly ran into the office to hug them and wish them congratulations but then I remembered, I wasn't supposed to be there…
And so I've learned about humility. I never knew I had it but I'm relieved that I do. I felt genuinely happy for someone else's success and not felt like a loser for not getting the job. If anything, I've learned to work harder and strive to be the best I can! But until then, Chapter 26 needs finishing! If I'm going to reach my end of January deadline, I'm going to have to stop writing long winded newsies and get to it!

While at work, a customer was buying a few bits and bobs when I noticed he had his art folder on the table. I saw a few drawings hidden behind some paper in the transparent folder and asked him, "Is that your art work? Do you have a website?"
I felt a bit embarrassed I asked because I thought it was a bit presumptuous to assume he had a website, but he just told me we went to show off his portfolio to someone and was on the way home.
After I finished serving him, he asked, "Do you have a piece of paper? For my website?"
I completely forgot I asked!
So he wrote it down and I've just logged onto it. It is all actually quite an interesting read. It's all about Japanese folklore and he's put a few pieces of artwork up there too.
It's worth a look if you've got a spare minute, as it is an interesting read...
http://mergsworld.blogspot.com/

Look! Look! Snow! Woo!
Time to get out the layers and layers and layers of coats, dig out my huge steel studded boots and obligatory flamethrower as while I was asleep, all this happened in our garden!
As excited as I'm feeling, there is a sense of dread.
I'm travelling to work via Underground.
An Underground that also has a lot of Overground too. The sort of Underground that stands still if a leaf falls on the train tracks. I'm expecting a very, very long journey ahead of me both going to work and coming back home.
But if they insist on closing the tube station, then I'd have to go home. Oh the horror! Not having to go to work and having to stay home to work on Chapter 26 while frolicking in the snow!
Yes, the horror…
Until then I shall enjoy the beautiful view and try not to think about the slushy snow I'll have to endure tomorrow.

If only there was some sort of sign. I guess I should have known really that something bad was going to happen.
On Thursday morning, I went to the staff room, dumped my bag and coat in my locker and took out my cardigan, ready to work and ready to rock! Another employee, who was extremely chipper the day before looked woe-be-gone.
"I don't know." He said, "I feel like today's going to be a bit rubbish."
I gave a slightly weak, optimistic smile and went upstairs to start working on the tills. The morning went swiftly by, serving customers with a careful eye and swift stride. As I tucked one of the credit card receipts into one of the numerous till pockets, I slammed the draw shut and there was a sudden flash. I tried to pull my hand out but it was trapped for that reflex second. I slammed my fingers into the till!
Gasping too much to yowl, I trotted around in a circle waving my hand about in sheer agony. The customer I was serving looked shocked and surprised. As much as I appreciated his concern, my fingers started bleeding as it felt like needles shooting through my hand.
Still following my professional stance, I walked up to the tanoy, pushed the button and wheezed down the microphone, "Staff announcement, could a cashier please come up to the tills upstairs please" let go, and said to the next customer, "I'm sorry, I can't serve you."
A confused counter cover came and I rushed downstairs. I quickly rinsed my hands in the sink and went to the security office. One of the security staff helped put a plaster on my finger and helped me settle down. After filling in an Incident Form (they have forms for everything), it just began to throb with pain. Of all the times to need a wee.
Feeling better, I saw some colleges going about their work when I'd catch their attention by showing them my plastered middle finger.
"Giving me the finger are you?" They would say, and then, "What happened?"
After telling anyone I could capture what had happened, reliving the event, I decided to carry on with my day. I was glad I did as another till staff member left for being ill. I spent the rest of the day showing everyone my middle finger with glee, trapping it in the odd bag and saying "Hey, I lost a limb today!" which was usually followed by, "Oh stop being such a big girl."
Today my finger is fantastic. It's still a tad scabby, but scabs are good. Part of the healing process or something. I've not got a black nail which was my greatest fear and I can draw as well as I always could. It was thanks to the fast reactions to everyone at work that I managed get so well so quickly so a big thanks to everyone who helped!
Until then, I'm touch typing this newsies with all my fingers and am ready to go to bed for a long weekend.
Long weekend I hear you say? I'll tell you about THAT later!

I just spent the weekend in Brighton and it was a brilliant and strange experience all rolled up in one.
Firstly, there was the train ride. If I ever take the above ground line out of Charring Cross again, I'm getting my camera out pretty sharpish. I missed out on some fantastic shots of Big Ben, the London Eye, old buildings, big water things, it was all lovely and very sunny.
And it was sunny and clear when I got out of the train and we drove down to Brighton. The Royal Pavilion was just startling; it looked like some sort of giant cake. Mmm, cake…
After searching relentlessly and bowleggedly for a hotel, we found a lovely steak house to sit and eat. Unfortunately we had to sit outside. Unfortunately we left our coats at the hotel. Unfortunately the sun had taken his hat off.
"Sod this, shall we just find somewhere else?"
"Mmm, yeah, okay."
"Okay, we've got to leg it. And… GO!"
You'd think the run would warm us up but, thankfully, the pizza we eventually had did that for us.
We shopped. I got very excited about the sticks of rock. Luke got excited about the James Bond films. I got excited by the smell of the outside hot dog stand. He got excited by the big car display in the shopping arcade.
All this talk of food and I didn't even mention my main problem of the day. I had a severe metaphorical knot in my stomach. It's a thing that I get quite rarely but I get it when I do something unusual or have an agenda for the day. Which is actually very rare as most days are dull and full of work. It requires the patience of a saint to go on walkabouts with me and my growling knot, but I was in very good and very compassionate company thanks mainly to Luke.
At night we went to see "Notes of a Scandal" in the cinema and I have to say, this was a very good choice by yours truly. Lead roles played by Judi Dench (Barbara) and Cate Blanchett (Sheba), it's about a schoolteacher who has an affair with a fifteen-year-old student. Even though this is definitely something that is frowned upon in society today, you can't help but feel for the whimsical Sheba and even the calculating and sharp tongued Barbara.
We went back to the hotel and chilled out, watched a bad American detective program, ate chocolates, drank booze, played a very long game of cards and then had a snooze.
Breakfast was a awkward as the dining room was sweltering so we went for a walk along the pier. Our two day search for donuts was in vain as at this moment in time, everything was still closed but we still had fun walking in the crambling, noisy and cumbersome pebbled beach.
We took a drive to Beachy Head. The cliffs really are white here. The view is amazing. I'm not sure the picture does it justice but it really puts everything in perspective. I nabbed a clump of chalk and put it in my pocket.
It was a quiet drive back and it was a good quiet. A satisfied quiet. A Sunday morning quiet. Yes, I did doze off. Several times. I was reassured that I didn't miss anything apart from the odd brown tree. Luckily I didn't miss all the other brown trees. I did take loads of pictures for research purposes. These with help me with a poster I'm planning on showing in the exhibition at March. Actually I have a solid idea of what I want now.
Phew.
Fantastic weekend doesn't seem to describe it. I don't think words could describe it. It was just the break that I needed and Luke was by far the best company anyone could ever wish for and I feel like I really have bonded with him especially more then anyone else (sorry to anyone else who is reading this!)
Now I'm at home, in front of the computer and writing my notes to all the other people who I adore. I do feel guilty about not finishing Chapter 26 in January and I apologise to everyone who has been waiting. Especially since it's only ten strips! But I do need to get out there, experience new things and have other sites, landmarks and remarkable people inspire me.
Thank you for your patience and always remember that I do adore all of you!

It's happened!
It's finally, FINALLY happened!
Chapter 26 has been completed and I will start showing them on 16 February 2007. Phew! Talk about a long wait for ten strips!
To be fair, the strips are a tad longer then the usual three boxes, they primarily have human characters and they are very, very dark.
Don't expect any giggles or punch lines in this chapter. Well, no intentional giggles.
To celebrate, I've replaced the lovely snowy background of this home page with a newly made Witness Protection skin. As soon as I figure out how to make people change the skins at will (so far there's a desert skin, a snow skin, a Halloween skin and this one) I'll add it, but until then, you're lumbered so though luck.
Just to tease you until it's release, above is a promotional picture featuring three characters in this chapter.
I'd like to thank Luke for giving my inspiration a good boot up the backside and getting this done. even if it wasn't his influence that helped this get finished, it's still nice to have good people around me. So I'll give thanks to Loop, Happy100, Alex, Klesk and anyone else who has been waiting for being so ruddy lovely.

It's strange. You work in a comic book shop where one day it's so quiet, even the tumbleweed seems to be taking forever to roll past, and the next day, well, pandemonium!
There wasn't a big signing or anything like that (although Joss Whedon did come to shop the other day, that caused a stir). An 'event' comic came to an end. Marvel's Civil War. This is important as it's written by Mark Millar who is considered by many as a pretty decent writer. Of sorts.
Civil War is basically about the repercussions of superheroes going about the place, saving the world (as they do) but mainly that the super villains are killing loads of civilians. Which is bad. So the government wants to register all the superheroes secret identities to ensure this doesn't happen again.
This causes a bit of a rift between everyone, primarily Captain America and Iron Man.
Spider-man's also in it and he is for this whole registration to start with as he reveals his secret identity to the media. Quite a dumb choice for a genius if you ask me.
Anyway, my point being that yesterday was indeed pandemonium. The day started off, well, really quiet. Dead actually. I sold one Civil War comic in the first hour. Then there were a few people in the queue. Then a few more. Then they were snaking all over the shop.
It should have been a nightmare but I did seem to be enjoying it. Maybe it had to do with me not cashing up at the end of the day and leaving early, maybe it had to do with going to the cinema later on in the day to see Hot Fuzz (which I didn't end up seeing by the by). But I had a pretty good day.
I did buy some comics at the end of the day though. No, not Civil War, but Kingdom Come and Iron Fist. I liked the cover. Yes, I am that shallow.
So now I'm about to face another day at work. Will I be able to cope this time? Who knows? One thing I do know though, I like mangos!

Yup, I saw Hot Fuzz and yup it was fantastic. What intrigued me was the trailer before hand with Simon Pegg doing an assortment of exercises very, very badly. It was called "Run, Fatboy, Run" and that's all they said.

Oh well.

In other news, I've finished an independent strip for The UK Web & Mini Comix Thing 2007 Anthology. It does indeed have Steve & Bob back in their beloved pub. Inspired by Simon Pegg (and a bit of Monty Python) the theme behind this strip is "Important Stuff" so click here to see it and if you're a member of deviant art, leave a message saying what you think!