Links to the other Newsie Pages: |
Shooting By : 26 July 2006
Tappidy tap tap.
That's four pounds please.
Tappidy tap tap tap.
Just do your pin there.
Reeeeee-eee-reeee!
There you go, your card and receipt. Would you like them in seperate bags or all together?
All together, okay...
Raffle, raffle, raffle.
There you do, bu-bye.
What was that? A famous comedian just popped in? A famous comedian and I missed it? A famous comedian and I didn't plug my website?
Gaaargh! |
The Vicarious Volumes I; Lupus' Introduction :
27 July 2006
Oh, how fortuitous our cartoonist is, to have a cohort so loyal as I; Lupus. Why, I'll even leave all his lovingly-crafted formatting free of meddling. I give you now, his original line break.
Now, to business.
It would appear as though you rabble of heathens, unwashed masses such as you are, are flocking in your droves to read up on the exploits of our 'active' host. I can only assume you'll be positively chomping, nay, salivating at the bit, to peruse what should be inconcurrent updates on my own disparaging affairs. Today I awoke to the sound of a jackhammer. Or as close as my neighbour could lay his hands on; regardless, it did the job of waking me up, merely bringing into sharper relief the loathing I feel towards humanity in general, society as a whole, the planet as a decaying husk infested with a plague. But I digress and brood. My hand was on my sword before I thought to myself "You can't just go out and eviscerate your neighbour, meatsack. You need pants!" But then I caught my gaze in the mirror and stood transfixed at the jiggling fat. Oh, the temptations of this world and the strains they inflict 'pon the power of will.
*ahem*
So instead I fired up my Second Station of Play and proceeded to lay seige to all manner of pixellated abominations. And indeed, commit atrocities as the abominations themselves. It also sates one of my many primal desires to ogle large-breasted women.
Oh yes. Ladies, I'm single, come and get me.
As my addiction to line breaks continues unabated I'm reminded of the simple joys of forging my own website, which is rather disturbing as I only ever managed to get a title image uploaded before paranoia overtook my sense of propriety, and I decided I'd rather not have dishonest souls plageurise my lustrious literature. I'm also just now wondering how this copious cornucopia of canon is cocking up my cohort's cells. And yes, I realise I've used 'cohort' twice but it's such a fantastic word, it really does need to re-enter popular vernacular. By force if necessary.
I shall be honest with you now, or rather, more honest than I have been so far; when I was contacted to write this little sojourn of sanity's loss I didn't realise I'd end up typing so much. So much what, I hear you ask. Ho ho indeed, chortle chortle. Laugh whilst the air is still clean and unignited. Well, I SAY clean...
The point? Oh, gentle reader, there is no point. There is also no spoon, no God, no Santa Claus, and no Easter Bunny.
His name is Father Christmas.
His name is Father Christmas.
His name is Fathe-... Betelgeuse? Never heard of it. Some manner of upper-class tipple, one would assume.
And now, the 'Save' button beckons. Well, I say beckons, it glints. Well, I say glints, it eyes me with a leer when I drop down the file menu.
Oh, and remember; always take a banana with you to parties. |
Today, I saw a Chihuahua Barking Frantically at a Giant Walking Pastie : 29 July 2006
All day I've been trying to find pirate gear for a pirate party later on that day. I couldn't find anything on any of my three breaks but something did catch my attention. A giant pastie walking down the street. So what do you do if you see a giant pastie walking down the street? You follow it. The pastie was walking along quite happily when a tiny little Chihuahua going spare over this giant pastie. He didn't like that giant pastie. When I told people back at work what happened, I had to reassure them that I didn't take any drugs but I also didn't have anything piratey.  I journeyed back with a few people from work to the party and I felt a bit weird because I didn't know anyone. But that's the good thing about parties, you get to know people. I even got two tattoos done on each arm (as you can see). Fantastic time, I got to meet some fantastic people, I managed to remember the names of most of the people from work (yes, I do have a terrible memory) and I even though I said to myself I was going to leave after a certain time, it all seemed far too early. It was a great day and I'd like to wish Tom a Happy 26th Birthday! |
Webcomics on Paper : 3 August 2006
It's a curious thing working in a comic book shop in London. As well as all the celebrities that come in that I always seem to miss (if it's not Brian Blessed, I'm not interested) I'm more interested in the products we sell.
The biggest selling comics at the moment is a collection called Civil War which is a combination of famous super heros either working together or not in some cases. The big news at the moment is that Spider-man has revealled his identity to the whole world. There's also a very funny Spider-man comic cover with him tied to a meat blending machine and a villian writing on a black board, "Mysterious Meat".
Those were mega popular today but I couldn't help noticing a few familiar faces amoungst the graphic novels. One that kept proping up was Girl Genius. I've got to admit, I'm not a big fan but the artwork in this comic is something special. I always thought it was just a webcomic, I had no idea it was all in a book as well! No wonder it's doing so well in buzzComix!
Another graphic novel that, surprisingly, is less popular then Girl Genius is Penny Arcade! A customer brought this to the counter and I nearly completely nerded out.
What I wanted to say was, "OMG! Penny Arcade! They're on the internet! But they're on paper! But, they're on the internet! Bu- paper? Internet? Paper? interpaper? papet? *explodes*
Instead, all I did was gasp quite loudly and scanned it.
This really got my spirits up. If these guys can get their web comic published and into shops, what's stopping me? Publicity, yeah, but come on! It's a possibility! Renewed enthusiasm erupted inside of me! Thank God I got this job! |
Night Out : 5 August 2006
Today there was a book signing in the shop and I actually SAW the celebrity! Hoo-flipping-ray! Terry Gilliam, in the flesh! I didn't actually talk to him, I just sort of gawped mindlessly.
The bosses were so impressed with all the hard work everyone did that they treated us to a drink in the pub down the road. A dilemma followed, I had a date to see my old boss to go to the cinema. I came to the conclusion that I'll have one drink and then I'll go.
That was the plan...
Trouble is, I'm a slow drinker. By the time I had finished my drink, I should have already have met him. So, feeling like a horrible scabby monster, I sent him a very pitiful text message saying I couldn't come tonight.
My heart sank but I was in good company. I was really enjoying being with people who were out of work mode and I certainly enjoyed being out of work mode myself. |
Texidy text text! : 8 August 2006
Isn't it great when you have a day off? Nothing to worry about, no pressure, it's just- dull.  That's until I got a text message from a guy called Steven (no relation) with a photo of him fast asleep in bed. I knew this was going to be an interesting day. The reason why I got this photo was because yesterday, I decided to take photos of everything I went past in London. The street I walk down, my train station, me leaving the station to run to the loo, me back in the station, you know, a mini diary of the day. I was worried Steven would think this odd, but he did the same. So we just had a laugh doing this all day. Today it was mainly texts. I think I may have used up all the credit today but it was well worth it, I had such a laugh! And then, there was the silly faces on the webcam. Overall I couldn't have wished to have met a stranger, lovlier bloke to talk to and he's so full of life, he makes me wonder, "Why do I take things so seriously?" Today is national Steven Day (in the S&B world). As for the comic strips, what do you think so far? Is there something special about Steve or is it all superstitious nonsense? And what do you think about Alfie? The chapter is devoted to him and he's in it a lot so comments about that please. |
The Vicarious Volumes II; Writer's Block : 13 August 2006
Once again into the breech, dear fellows.
Right off the bat I'll admit that I can't think of a single thing to write here, and quite why our cartoonist can't do it himself is a source of constant ponderment.
So what did I, Lupus, do today then?
Well, I woke up. Then there's a good few hours of dullness before I ran out into the drizzling night. Yes, again. It's my... whatsit. My idiom.
It's not like I don't know what's there of course, so why I wander the streets for an hour or so is somewhat of a mystery, but I did see a nice house for sale. Semi-detached, overgrown garden, nice strangely-shaped tree, looked quite run-down and mysterious, despite being semi-detached, yes. If I had the cash I think I'd buy it; there's just something about a property residing on a dimly-lit street corner.
But look! Talking cats!
No, I had an idea! Let us talk about the sheer banality of existance! Yes!
There seems to be exceptionally little one can do to escape the drugery of the bog-standard frame of life; be born, go to school, get a job, raise a family, die. What the world needs is a cause, something that spurs humanity on as a whole against a common foe or towards an objective of fantastic proportions, for as it is now the only escape routes are winning the lottery, and suicide.
Now I could quite happily give the world this common foe or this fantastic objective, but the catch is I need to win the lottery first, or come into obscene amounts of money and/or power via some other available means. This fleshy corpuscle is no match for the crushing weight of boredom. |
New Phone! : 17 August 2006
I have a new phone! I have a new phone! *shrieks!* *faints* *explodes* *gets the mop* Yes, I have a new phone and yes I have been playing with it a lot lately. So, here is my gallery...  Max : The Dog
Here is Max, my dog. Again it's another picture were she's looking at me as if to say, "Haven't you tortured me enough? Do I have to pose AGAIN?!" That said, she's very good at it.
|
 My Bookshelf : Of my Room...
You'll notice that my bookshelf doesn't actually contain that many books but a fair few DVDs and computer games. It also shows that I'm running out of things to shoot.
That said, my Harry Potter books have a space all to themselves.
|  Dear Lord No! : Me.
This is me looking overly enthusiastic and, by the looks of it talking about a fish I once caught.
Who could resist those 'come to me' eyes? Don't answer that.
Don't ask me what posessed me to put this on the site, on the web, where anyone can see it, but I have and it should be destroyed before it burns the eyes of every innocent who strays upon this site.
That said, I am looking a lot thinner... |
There has been lots of other news that I've forgotten to mention, the Doctor Who booksigning (which is a vastly entertaining story), my new Badger and Weebl and Bob t-shirts and I actually saw and spoke to an actual celebrity today and I was the only one! Yeay! But in traditional newsies fashion, tomorrow we will be talking about who would win in a fight, a badger or a swan? |
'Ello me Darling! : 18 August 2006
So, someone asked me if I should be a model today. Yes, strange start to the day. I'm not sure how it happened, but you know when someone looks like they have something they need to get off their chest? Well, this was apparently what this person wanted to say to me. As well as working in Forbidden Planet, he also works in a model agency and says I have the look they are looking for. What do you say to something like that? Thank you? Suppose so. I sent texts that lunchtime to two different friends, Happy100 and Lupus, coz I knew I'd get two interesting responses. I wrote, "Someone said I should be a model today. Feel free to point and laugh." Happy100 responded immediately with, "Why would I laugh? Did you not just HEAR me say you were cute*?? = ) Btw. Didja get their number???" I sent a text back saying not to worry and that the man was quite old. At which point, I started to worry. Lupus took his time with his response and sent back, "Depends what you'd be modelling; bhurkas yes." I've yet to learn what a bhurkas is, but hey ho. Moral of the story; Being told you could be a model is very nice but getting a model's paycheck is even nicer. That and Snakes on a Plane is being released tomorrow! |
Helicopter! : 23 August 2006
 Is it a Helicopter? Is it a rubber? Is it a pencil sharpener? Why, it's all three! Praise be Jesus! It's a ****ing helicopter! It's got a spinny thing and everything! How did I come to procure such a delightful trinket? Simple, I raided Santa's grotto... No, actually, my old, trusted and faithful pencil sharpener snapped today. My heart broke as it's orange arms waved frantically in the air as it's eyes went glassy and all life left it's soul. So naturally I bought a new one straight away. There were the usual boring metal ones but then, it was like pencil sharpener heaven! There were spider sharpeners, dog sharpeners... erm... spider sharpeners but the helicopter one grabbed my heart and so, there you go... If you're new to the site, this is what the newsies is always like. Deep, hard hitting and relevant to the times! And nothing is more hard hitting then my helicopter pencil sharpener! It's got little spinny rotors and everything!!! |
Absense : 24 August 2006
I just thought I'd leave a note saying that it's a coincidence that the last strip is showing tomorrow but I've uploaded it today because I may need to take a break from the website for a while. Sorry to be vague but I don't want to say anything just in case I jinx things.
There will be a long wait for Chapter 26. I knew there would be. Chapter 26 will be the shortest chapter yet with ten strips but hopefully (hopefully) it'll be a good 'un. And it won't be like any of the other strips as there aren't really any jokes and it is very dark. But there will be a long wait for it, so I am sorry.
Hope I write back soon. Take care. |
Max vs Vet : 30 August 2006
Ooh, ooh! I served a celebrity yesterday! Not a small one, a massive one! Big hands and everything. I didn't miss him or anything! Actually, I was so embarressed, I kept my head down the whole time. But being the professional, I acting cool and calm until he left. Then I jumped up and down and irritated my work colleges about it.
Anyway, enough of that, now some proper news. The reason I was so sulky in the last newsies was because Max, my dog, has been very ill. Her eyes went wonky, she stopped drinking and stopped eating. To say it was distressing would be an understatement, she was dying.
We took her to the vet and she stayed for the weekend. We later learned that she had hepititus in her liver and it was being treated. There was even better news, she was getting better.
Sick of waiting, we popped over to the vets on Sunday to take her home. Her tail was wagging like crazy and was brimming with life! Yeay! She was also sporting a rather dashing pink bandage and shaved belly.
So now she is resting at home, being very happy and barking at all the neighbours like she should be. She does have to take ten pills a day (no, really) but she's still full of life and just being lovely. Everything's going to be Ooooooooooooo-kaaay! |
Lupus lore; choose a number: 01 September 2006
To clear up any confusion that might rear its scarred and bitter head later on, this isn't your regular host; Once again you're to be delighted, enthralled, and perhaps even disgusted by that most vehement upholder of grammar, Lupus.
 See?
So for the past... ooh, three hours almost, I've been engaged in a bitter struggle 'twixt man and beast. Luckily I prevailed for I 'twas the beast. A large cow in this case.
Yes, I'm another peon addicted to World of Warcraft; they take my money, they take my time, they take my life. And they seem to take my higher reasoning skills too, for I found myself embroiled over a battle of Alterac Valley, which I generally despise.
Let me explain;
Alterac Valley is, well, a valley. Unsurprisingly it's in an area of the game called Alterac.
It's basically a valley (Yes, I think we've established that now, I hear you shriek) which is layered in snow, as valleys are wont to do at altitude. It's a pleasant area with the coniferous vegetation, the log cabins and the stone bunkers. There's giant rams and giant wolves there too.
And of course, there's the Alliance. Damnable humans, dwarves, 'night' elves and footbal- err, gnomes. And they try and kill us!
Turnabout being the very epitomy of fair play, we kill them instead and doth raze their villages to the ground! And collecting their blood leads to us summoning a giant creature made of ice and rock which sounds impressive but it's quite a letdown and we never bothered with it anyway.
I almost forgot to mention the people; the sorriest rejects from Satan's ulcerated sphincter you'd be hardpressed to find. These are people who can't follow an instruction as simple as "move north" so one wonders how they ever learnt to power up a PC.
Still, we won so all is fine and dandy. And my contractual obligation to mention this debacle, I'm free of.
So let's get back to what REALLY matters. Me.
I have a website which I shan't plug. It's not that I'm incapable of sinking so low, it's just that I believe there's an old title banner and precious little else, thus wasting more of your time there serves little purpose; you could instead be expending your precious energy toiling away at whatever it is you people do, all the while unknowingly dissipating it into the ether, and providing a silent feast to the denizens of the shadowed and ark places of the world. Yes, do that.
Or not, I'm not fussed either way.
Hm, my N key has worn away. How do I know it's an N key then? it's the only one worn away.
So. Yes. Umm.
Meh, that'll do. It's not like this is even my own website - All this energy, all this creativity I'm expending I could use to further my own machinations, but I guess I'm too nice.
Now where's my sword... |
Thanks for voting! : 3 September 2006
First I'd like to say a big thank you to all the people who have been voting for me on buzzComics! It means so much to me that I'm getting so much support from all of you and hopefully the volume of votes will attract a new audience to Steve & Bob. For those of you unaware, buzzComics is a showcase for anyone hoping to become a successful cartoonist. If you want to vote for Steve & Bob, click on here and help it be seen by more people!You have no idea what it means to me after having such a difficult time lately that you have been voting every day and but thank you so much and please, do enjoy this story about a dog, a mouse and a pub! |
Chapter what? : 8 September 2006
Sorry I haven't written in the newsies for quite a while. It feels so strange that after writing in it everyday I should suddenly stop writing as much. Trouble is, work is keeping me far too preoccupied to write anything at the moment. See, the trouble is that the comics have taken a sideline. They are not as much of a priory as they used to be at this moment in time. I feel honour bound to release the next chapter of course but it won't be for a while. I carry my notebook and sketchpad everywhere I go and I usually write a few strips on the train. I've covered a lot of ground that way and have written two chapters and am working on another. Working in a comic book shop has changed my approach to drawing my strips, it's plotlines and themes. As Steve and Bob (and Radox) go on their search for the Brown Cow, they are faced with many challenges but with a twist. People who have read Chapter 25 will have some idea of how it will go but only some. Well, that's my hope. That's the last thing I need, someone to say, "I think this'll happen…" and then it does. After the darkness and dramatic Chapter 26 - Witness Protection, hope appears and makes things easier for the characters. Not too easy but it keeps them going. And going. And going…. I am immensely proud of Chapter 25 - The Archaeologist. The colouring is more dynamic and it reveals a lot more about the diamonds and Steve's role in the whole saga. Even if the site isn't that popular yet and only a few people see it, I'll be proud to know that the people who have seen it regard it as an unknown gem. And right now, you can call it your own. That is if it ever takes off. Until then, feel free to make your mark in our Guest Book or by voting for us at buzzComix everyday. Thank you for your time. I know I always say it but you'll never know how much I appreciate it. You all have very good taste! |
Lifestyle or Quirky Trait? : 12 September 2006
Another day, another celebrity. Boy do I live the high life, bar the money or fame to actually live the high life. Today another celebrity came in and I went red and pretty much talked to his nipples. Then I realised he was wearing a white top with one chain looped from one nipple to another. He was also wearing braces, not to hold his trousers up like dear Uncle Barnabus. One thought sprung to my mind though. He's definitely gay.
Not even a little bit gay, very gay. Gay as a great big gay thing.
He wears it like a badge of honour on his, well, I was going to say chest but it seems more fitting to say nipples in this case. It makes me wonder, how much of anyone's personality is due to their sexuality?
Don't get me wrong; I'm not trying to be homophobic or anything. I just find it fascinating that people will let their sexual instincts take over their lives. Changing your appearance to show your pride in your sexual orientation or mannerisms. Is it really pride or is it just to pull?
And how long before this need to show the world your sexual orientation before you realise what you really are. People aren't sexual all their lives. What about in childhood? What ambitions did this man have then? What drive? What did he like to do? What didn't he?
I think that's why I made a character like Radox. He is gay but it's not his priority in life. He knows he wants to be an acrobat and strives to reach the peak of his physical abilities.
It's a common theme with my characters. They all have certain ambitions. Even Steve has ambitions. He wants to go home, see his mates and enjoy freedom. But that's besides the point, sexual orientation is important but not so much that it should over rule your life. For God's sake, be independent! Be free from other people! Then you might discover something about yourself you never knew. Maybe some things you didn't want to know. Then maybe, just maybe, you will be going in the right direction to lead a content life.
Maybe.
Now here's a picture of me doing my owl impression...
 |
BRAINS! : 14 September 2006
Ran into some zombies today...
They were after my brains but I said, "Don't have my brains, they're rank! Have hers, they taste of strawberries!"
It was to promote some book about zombies. Some drama students came in with very convincing make up. I would have had a photo done with them but, to be honest, I was a bit scared of them. Well, I was until they asked for the Apollo bars.
Apart from that, I've been working on Chapter 26 during my breaks. It's still a long way to go but my mentality is to go at it one bit at a time. That's the best way to combat writer's block me thinks. Especially since Chapter 27's the best chapter I've written yet.
I think the zombies have the right idea, eating brains might give me new motivation! |
Work Films: 16 September 2006
Home videos are great. You can record yourself making toast. You can record yourself counting your toes. You can even record yourself with a hat. Who'd have thought you could use it to benefit the world? Or even a hotel you work in. Of course I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about someone else who works in a hotel! Silleh! This fine upstanding citizen made music videos using various members of departments from the hotel such as Sales, Reception, Kitchens and of course the Monkey Burns Unit Centre. Such videos included Madonna's Independant Women, Destiny Child's Hung Up and Pussy Cat Doll's... er... song. Hilarity ensued as we soon realised that ordinary people can't lip sync never mind act. And acting's easy, I've been pretending to be an artist for years now and have gotten away with it. So the moral of the story is, video cameras are great and make life worth living and stuff. Now here's that picture of me with a hat... |
What a Mug : 20 September 2006
 Cor blimey, apples and pears, knees up Mother Brown and other Cockney phrases are the deal of the day when I've got a title like this. Look there! On the left there! Would you Adam and Eve it, it's only a bleedin' mug! I ain't telling a cherry pie so don't Catherine Zeta Jones at me. It was difficult showing it at Kathy Burke in case someone Jimmy Greaves it. Then it'd have gone Pete Tong! Whether it's a pint of Winona Ryder, a bit of Acker in yer Kiki or even a bit of Acker Bilk, this Toby Jug is pukka for any doo. Phew, I've 'ad enough of all this cockneying Jackson Pollocks. I'm going to have a Eiffel Tower, a Turkish Delight and a Bo-Peep now. Night all. |
Toxicfire Forum : 22 September 2006
Once upon a time, in a forum far, far away, a snowman called Alex was a moderator on a forum. Her wit was as sharp as her twigs. An online friend wanted to start another forum with her so, like all snowmen, the thought of more power drove her onwards... Morning Orbit was nearly ready but Alex had one thing to ask me. Knowing I had entered a competition (click here to see who I competed against) that had something to do with web comics and asked me if I would do a comic strip for the site. I said I'd be happy to do a daily strip. She said not daily, too much work... I said, daily. She said fine... So Morning Orbit was born with a rather grey looking page dedicated to Steve & Bob's daily going ons. But as time went on, friction began to grow on the site. Members were split in two as fights broke out and even Alex fell out with the man who owned the site. Being the liberating soul that she is, Alex decided to start up her own forum where all her favourite people could post anything they liked without fear of being victim to bullys. And Toxicfire was born at last! It was our haven. We talked about birthdays, we had the on/off RPG forum, Happy100 joined the gang, we had my legendary laminator thread, Lupus' World of Warcraft forum and Alex finally had her snowman utopia. But, alas, we all got jobs. We all had things to do and finish. And our utopia was becoming quieter and quieter. So, when Alex had the chance to pay for another years subscription to the site, she decided neigh. No more. Toxicfire has come to rest. For now. So all I say is good-bye to Toxicfire, you will be missed. You were a platform for all of us like minded weirdoes and, of course, all the advertisement robots. All I can say is, I can't wait to see what the pheonix will look like when it rises back from the ashes. The forum will be back but in a new form. So for those of you going cold turkey over the demise of TF, all I can say is patience... Editor's Note: The forum is dead now. It's an ex-forum. No rising from the ashes for this one. |
Garfield is Dead : 24 September 2006
Yesterday was a good day at the shop. We had two book signings and the bosses decided to treat the staff to drinks after work. Working in a comic book shop, there was no shame in conversations about computer games, zombies and cartoons so I felt right at home. After several jugs of Carlsberg, we were talking about Garfield and my friend, Wiggles, was telling me about him selling his extensive Garfield collection and how this was a big mistake. Then, he told me about Garfield's death. "When you go home, Google 'Garfield's Death' and you'll see that Jim Davis actually wrote about Garfield's death." This didn't startle me as much as the description of his death. Garfield wakes up at home but he discovers he's all alone. No Jon, no Odie, no Pookie, nada. It just sounded so sad. When I arrived at home, I got on Yahoo to find anything relating to this. Nothing. Was I had? Then I went to Google and I found it. 23rd October 1989 started the series of comics. I found them on the actual Garfield website archive. The Start of Garfield's Death.This got me thinking about Steve & Bob and mainly about Chapter 26 as it has no humour. It also got me thinking about how I want the comic to end. |
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© Michael Georgiou 2003-2009 All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. Any unauthorised act in this respect may lead to legal proceedings, including a civil claim for damages. |
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