Wow, it's been ages since I wrote any news! It's not that I've not been up to anything, loads has been happening. That's the main problem, I've had no time to write in this thing!
Many news worthy things have been happening. One being that my very good friend Happy100 has been in the hospital lately to have her arms replaced with twig arms. Apparently it's something every Canadian must do at some time in their life like wrestle moose's and, erm, that's it really. The snowman conspiracy continueth...
In other news, work becomes ever so slightly more complicated. What with the rise and rise of prices of just about everything, people no longer can afford luxuries such as chocolate (or they can, they just go to the supermarket). I love the quirkiness of working at Thorntons. No where else can I ice on chocolate for a living! I've iced a Steve, a Bob, Dougal from the Magic Roundabout and Harry, Ron and Hermione in front of a three headed dog.
Yes, I am easily amused and distracted!
But like I said, there are complications and hopefully they will be resolved in time but like most complications, they are complicated... Until then, I'll keep working in Chapter 23 and, more importantly, get people to enter my competition while there's still time!
So much for making the newsies short...

Today we celebrate Happy100's successful escape from the hospital! After several failed attempts (including dressing up as a nurse, abseiling and a full blown massacre), she's out of the straight jacket and into civilisation!
May God have mercy on all our souls...
I just finished work and have a bit of spare time before my mince defrosts so I thought I'd update the newsies. I'm so hungry, my poor belly. I've been having a bit of a digestive problem of late but I'm guessing that's not the sort of thing most civilised people would boast about.
(Happy's come out of the hospital, MHG gets carted in...)

I've been posessed by the HTML ghoulie again. It creeped up, wearing an innocent looking poncho, fake curly ginger moustache, looking dead casual like and then... it entered me!
Well I think it was the HTML ghoulie...
Anyway, since I've finished, erm, something (check the notorious) I've decided to remodel the plain page. For those of you who don't know, the plain page is just a text based page for those of you who don't like flash files with lots of colours and that.
Hrmph. I'm sure I didn't describe that correctly.
Well, have a look for yourself at this link. Erm, link.
Other then that, things have been fine. I was very pleased to have my Dad visit me at work and show him all my icings and all the eggs that Thorntons do. Had a random text from Happy100 saying, "Or a pony?" which, honestly, could be about anything and Lupus realises that 9/11 was probably quite an important thing after all.
Hmm, oh yes, plain page! Go see it, it's grrreat! Honest. While you're there, look at some strips for me will you? Thanks.

If I were to sum my first day as a Senior Sales Assistant in one word, it would be "Yawn". Mainly because I've been so damn sleepy today.
I woke up this morning and didn't want to get up. I ate breakfast half-heartedly and after a very, very hot shower, I lay on the floor, closed my eyes and dozed off. Hot showers always seem to do that to me but today, my lord, I really didn't need much persuasion.
Walking to work was painful (especially with that persistent wind), I fell asleep on the train and seemed to glide to work. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm very alert when I'm at work. Very nice to customers, very nice to the chocolate and very nice to the icing but the grump in me insisted on popping out to play. So when a lady decided to put my beautifully iced model in her bag, I said, "OH! Be careful! The icing! THE ICING!"
It was only later when I felt reassured that the icing was intact that my work colleague noted she admired my passion for the products. At which point I thought, "Oh great, I didn't just shout at a customer did I?" It was very nice icing if that's any justification...
Anyway, my colleague mentioned a short funny film on the net called 'Nine Naked Men' that I should see (the joys of broadband) so I'll google that later. Until then... zzzz.......

Today I finally received my UK Registration Certificate for the car I've had for far too many months now. It's like an official looking form which'll say that my car is mine and it's got all these lovely colours on it as well. I feel almost guilty about selling it now.
Yes the streets can sigh a huge sigh of relief as I am getting rid of my car. The giant sod is in the way ALL the time and it's a bit of an eye sore. Thing is, I'm so used to walking everywhere that I don't think I entirely want to drive. Well, I do, but I also like to keep my current weight and I feel that if I drive everywhere, I'll gain the stones back on.
Speaking of weight, I bought some new casual clothes the other day. My old casual clothes don't fit me anymore and I dare not wear them in case there is a sudden strong wind and I get blown away. So I got me some trendy jeans, trendy shirt, a red and white top and black belt. I know what you're thinking, not very news worthy, but hey, when you've been a big lad all your life, little things like this really perks you up. And I am well and truly perked. That sounds so wrong...

After finishing what was a relatively quiet day at work (no car crashes as far as I'm aware), I left the shop determined to go to HMV and bought some CDs for the first time in ages! I tell you what, it's true what they say about retail therapy, it really does help.
I bought a new single from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs called "Gold Lion". A fantastic tune which has more then a nod at Siouxsie & The Banshees and even a bit of Queen's "We Will Rock You". What convinced me to buy the single, well, apart from being too impatient to wait until next week for their album to come out, I saw them play live on Top of the Pops on Sunday and was surprised at how nervous Karen O was during the whole song. So much so that she was reduced to relentless giggles by the end of the song. She was just so sweet and really needed a hug so I thought, "What's the next best thing?"
I also bought the remastered album from The Rakes called Capture/Release. The song that persuaded me to buy it was "All Too Human" which I've heard on the radio and telly way too many times to ignore. After hearing it, I thought, "I HAVE to buy that album." After a heated discussion with the Sales Assistant at HMV who obviously loves the band, I felt confident that it was a good purchase and boy was it. Brilliant album, but I'm not sure, I may need to listen to it a few more times JUST to make sure...
There you go, that's my music news. Hrm, I should really write some news about the comics really...

Progress on Chapter 24 is going well. I've finished writing the dialogue in my new fancy rubber book so I'm being very organised about the whole thing. Makes a change.
Speaking of Chapters, Chapter 23 - The Hitch is being released on 26 March 2006! Not only is it Mother's Day (in the UK) but it's also going to be Steve & Bob's second birthday! Yes ladies and gents, this time two years ago I was fretting about whether or not another web owner was ever going to put my comics on their site, unknown by me that it was going to be shown to the world that week!
To celebrate, I want everyone to e-mail someone you know and tell them about the site. I really, really would like it if we reached double figures on Sunday. If I got those hits, it'd rock like a mother. So to speak.

After several painful months of waiting, the world (or Toxicfire) will finally be able to view Chapter 23 - The Hitch tomorrow!
Sort of ironic that it should be called The Hitch as I've had more trouble with this chapter then with any other. Chapter 15 - The Deathly Blackout nearly took it's crown as I had a terrible flu while I was making those strips and my eyes turned an unhealthy shade of bright red while I spent hours shading in all the characters.
It truly has been a test of patience what with me having a nose bleed all over a finished page (featuring four strips), the Christmas season, the Valentines season, my external hard drive dying on me, my computer contracting a virus, having the do a full system restore (thus threatening the strips as a whole) have made this the mose difficult chapter to complete EVEN THOUGH it doesn't look half as good as Chapter 15...
That said, I love this chapter and am very proud of the way it's turned out.
ARGH, I wish I could tell you more but you've only got one day left to wait! Anyone new here, feel free to Sign the Guestbook as it would be nice to have some non-robots submit something for once.
Until tomorrow then...

At last! It's happened!

* Yes, it's Mother's Day (imagines blind panic)
* Yes, the hours are changing today (in the UK)
* Yes, it's Steve & Bob's 2nd Birthday
* And yes, Chapter 23 - The Hitch is up and running!

That's the news, hooray, hooray, lets do a dance. Leave your writings on the wall by signing the guestbook. Discuss the strips by joining Toxicfire and say what you like about, well anything with the new chapter by clicking this link.
Until then, let the chapters begin...

After struggling this morning to get the second strip up, rattle went the post box and there it was, the new Yeah Yeah Yeahs album, Show Your Bones! Yeeeay!!! What can I say? It's brilliant!
That's all I can say (as I've not heard all of it yet) but all I can say it that I love it.
That's about it really. Other then that there was a new work experience girl at work, there was lots of moving about with the chocolate eggs, another power cut, steady progress on Chapter 24 and just a general feeling of satisfaction for the whole day.
It feels so great to have finished The Hitch, everything seems to be going well at the moment. Today was a good day.

This morning, as I was in the process of making Chapter 24, I thought, "Ooh, it's a bit chilly" So I put the heating on.
I also thought, "By golly, chapters 23 and 24 have had a lot of help from a particular photo resource website. Why not plug them?" So, I will. The site is called Image*After and you can locate them here.
In other news, I've got a lump just under my jaw. It's been there for ages and I thought it'd go away but neigh, it hasn't. If anything it's grown. So I'm going to the quack on Friday. On the plus side, that's another person I can tell about my comic strip! Yeay!
(I KNEW I was jinxing myself yesterday...)

Bad news I'm afraid guys, it seems that my boss's replacement won't be coming this Easter. Bummer. Good news is that someone who is currently working in the shop is interested in the manager's job and I couldn't think of anyone better. Hoo-flipping-ray!
As much as I love working there, I don't want to be a manager at this chocolate shop. I'm not exactly the responsible type when it comes to retail. I'd rather have loads of time working on the strips then have loads of time filling in forms, counting stock and lots of other things that aren't as fun as drawing.
That said, Easter is coming and even if there wasn't complications with employment, it's going to be a hectic time. So I'll warn you now, some strips may, MAY be late. Just thought you should know.

Who ever invented seven o'clock should be shot. It's just not natural waking up at that time in the morning. But alas, it's that time of the decade again; I had to go for a medical check up.
After falling asleep in the toilet, in the shower, on the bathroom floor, on the stairs and inside the cupboard under the stairs, I came to the conclusion that it's probably best NOT to spend all the night before playing World of Warcraft on the computer. I didn't even level as well.
But I'm getting side tracked. Doctor, yes...
He checked me height, my weight, he asked me if I'd always been slim at which point I said, "Last time I came you told me I was too fat. There's no satisfying some people."
Well, no, I'd never be that rude.
Well, not intentionally.
Then he wrote me a letter to get my blood tested and then get an X-Ray. At which point, I said, "Err, I actually came for this lump under my jaw."
Got there in the end. I still had the blood test (which stung only afterwards) and X-Ray and will get the results in two weeks. In typical Mike tradition it clashes with my Birthday.
But enough about me, lets talk about you... What do you think about me?

So April Fools Day is over and for those of you who haven't visited, you've missed a true classic in Steve & Bob history. Pretending the site had been hijacked, Steve & Bob had been transformed from comic strip page to WWW.GAYCHIMPS.COM!
The inspiration for the gag came from Holy Mother from the guest book and I made the page last night. You'd be surprised how easy it was finding those pics of those monkeys. But anyway, they're gone now.
Those who'd be sad to see the monkeys gone, all I can say is sorry now. I've gathered them up, tied blindfolds on them, told them to stand backs against the walls (they liked that) and have been shot repeatedly by a firing squad. All that's left of them is the brains, guts and bogeys on the walls behind them.
Steve & Bob will no longer be plagued by those meddlesome monkeys again! I'm surprised no one noticed that Eduardo came from a village called "Lyys Plinty". I thought that was a stroke of genius. Well, I would...

Easter is coming Santa's getting fat- Wait, that's wrong...
Yep, it's Easter Season and our little chocolate shop is doing very well. A bit too well. We might run out of eggs actually (which isn't really a good look for a chocolate shop but hey ho). The icing is flowing and I've been inspired to ice more then names on the eggs...
When customers ask me, "So, where's the machine that does the icing on the eggs?" I say, "Here I am!" At which point they look nervous. That's until they see the egg I've iced on and then they let out an orgasmic scream of glee and tell me I'm a genius. Well, who am I to argue? And it's so rare to see anything orgasmic these days...
(Kids, it's something to do with plants, like organic but funnier)
Anyway, here is one of my endeavours, my pride and joy, a iced rabbit on a milk chocolate egg! Woo! Looks great in the shop. Problem is, when I'm not there, customers want ten of them the same and the other staff can't ice bunnies like I do. Ah well, what can you do? Point and laugh I guess...

Well that was another day off wasted. Didn't do any work on Chapter 24 at all but spent it all playing World of Warcraft instead. Damn it's good looks, weather effects and monotomous fighting system!
Let me just introduce you to my character...

Lo, and behold, for it has come to pass. Yes, I am McDougal. A Troll. Who speaks with a Jamacian accent so I guess Lord of the Ringss talk won't work...
We jammin', no, that's just border line racisim...
Lo and be-, oh I've done that... Well, anyway, I am McDougal and I am a Troll Hunter! Woooooooo! Fear me... FEAR ME!!! Alright, not that much, I need the hits...
As a Hunter I can have a pet and my pet and faithful sidekick is a great grizzly bear. Hear his name and tremble! Harold!!!
Hoo-ooo-oooooooooo-oooo!!!
Anyway, my endeavours made me level up today to level 35! Ha! And they call me a noob! I'd be offended if I understood Young People Talk but hey...

I don't know why I'm doing an impression of a ghost. Sorry, I've been listening to Chris Moyles all day today and am in a bit of a silly mood.

Today was the last day that my boss worked in our little chocolate shop. Doomed, we're all doomed! Well, no, I'm actually more optimistic then that. Everything's pretty much in the air at the moment so who knows what's going to happen? Only God and we know how much of a drama queen he is.
I just wanted to say in the newsies that I think my boss is a top bloke. I remember the first day I met him when I was going round shops, begging for jobs and he just so level headed. Since then we've got on so well and are both really good mates.
i couldn't have hoped to have met such a top bloke (and now he's not my boss it doesn't sound like I'm sucking up so it must be sincerity). I wish him the best of luck with his never ceasing endeavours!

Easter, Easter, Easter. Gaah!
It's safe to say I'm slowly but surely going mad. I'm working full days (because we're currently managerless) and spent about 3 hours at home when I'm awake so I have very little time for eating let alone the strips.
But thanks to sheer passion and sheer stubburness, this will not hold me back. Rest assured, you will get Chapter 23 even if it kills me and thankfully, it won't. I'm sure it won't. It's not like it's made of Kryptonite is it? Or is it? Wait, who am I?
Man I need some sleep...

Yeah, I'm returning it... It's not the one I wanted and wasn't nearly as good as I thought it'd be so, bah.
I bought a keyboard from Amazon as a birthday present from my sister to me (yes, she really couldn't be bothered to go online to buy it herself) and this keyboard looked so tastey online too. But I thought it'd have flat keys like the ones on laptops but neigh.
Oh, I have a day off today (hooray!) so I may very well write ten newsies to make up for the lack of newsies lately. But I've been selling way too many Easter Eggs to do anything else so, bah.
I'm going to relish doing absolutely nothing today. Wish me luck!
But as I'm busy doing nothing, Jo and Shelly are busy doing something well over due! Have a look and enjoy!

It's true, today is a very special day. Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's National Gaby Roslin Day! Gaby Roslin shot to fame with the British television show The Big Breakfast with co-host Chris Evans. She has sponsored many charities and stuff and is very nice on screen. But what about off screen?
What many people don't know is that on the 23rd of June, 1996, Gaby Roslin was actually replaced on the Big Breakfast by Anna Rice wearing a Gaby Roslin suit. It was her plan to use her new disguise to use Chris Evan's glasses to set fire to the Big Breakfast house and thus destroying the competition once and for all. What she didn't know is that under the foundations of the Big Breakfast house was an ancient pagan burial ground where a legendary black witch Damien Hunter who threatened to devour the entire a country with the red dragon.
This was until the valiant Gaby Roslin broke free from her metal cage and moulded it to fashion a rather dashing sword. But when Gaby went to confront Anna Rice it was too late. Consumed by power and a need to dominate all, Anna Rice set fire to the Big Breakfast house. After whacking Anna over the head with a giant prop of a slice of toast, Gaby shot lasers out of her eyes and put out the fire. Lo and behold, Gaby Roslin had saved the world thus making this National Gaby Roslin Day!
That and it's my birthday...