Okay, don't panic, but it turns out that the lump on my neck is a type of cancer.
Blimey!
But it's not as serious as, like, real cancer. What I've got is "Schwannoma" which is like a fatty tissue over the nerve cells that cause a lump. It's a very slow growing tumor (thus why I've had it for a few years now and haven't keeled over) but there is a very, very low chance of it turning into something serious. Not only do the doctors say this, but wikipeadia too so it must be true.
I've got to say, it's very weird. The worry that I used to have has been replaced with relief and… worry! Now that I know what it is at long last, they're going to operate on it next week and get rid of the thing. Typical, all these years of trying to lose weight and the biggest worry I've had lately turned out to be fat!
Please, please don't be worried for me. I'm not worried, well, not panic stricken, I am a little worried. But knowing that it's going to get resolved soon is a huge weight off my mind.
But if you are worried, you could always get me cake. Nothing with jam though, can't stand jam in cakes. Last thing I need to see is a big lump with red ooze inside…
Actually, chocolate will do.
And maybe a new computer chair, mine's a bit broken.
I could actually write a list you know…

Last night I was settled and prepared to have a nice, long sit down and chat to some friends on MSN. Then, I had a creeping sensation up my back as my eyes fell on a letter from the hospital. After having a re-read, I saw that I had a meeting about a surgery on the 28th!
I felt so relieved to finally go there and find out what was wrong with my neck! I was just surprised that it was so soon. But that wasn't the first time I had to go to the hospital that soon.
Feeling devistated, I had to say good-bye to Loop JUST as I was getting into the conversation and go to bed straight away. Had to be up early to go to the hospital.
That night, anxiety filled my very heart. As nice as it was to find out what was wrong with me, I was scared too. What if it was something serious? What if I had, like, a month to live or something? Or less?
I woke up at 6:30am, took my time getting ready and left the house at 8. I met Emma at the station who rightly called me a git for giving her the wrong time to go into work that day. Damn, I always give the wrong damn impression! Must learn to take my time and go through things properly...
After a short journey on the tube, I waited for the bus. At this moment, my nose was running like mad. I'm slowly, slowly recovering from a nasty cold and my nose has been like a tap these past few days. Mmm, nice…
After fretting about being late, I arrived just in the nick of time, handed over my letter and just when the man behind the counter ticked my letter with a green pen, he looked up at me with a smile and said, "This appointment is for the 28th of May."
Yes, the 28th of May.
But, it's April, not May.
So that means…
… What-a-plonker.

I'll start with the bad coz there's a really big good at the end. A lot of them actually.
Firstly, today I finally had my biopsy although I was worried I wasn't going to have it. The appointment was for 12:40, but I arrived an hour early. Then I was told it was 2pm. Then at 2pm, I had to wait half an hour. Then another half an hour for the machine to be ready so 3pm was when they actually (gulp) cut me open.
To add to the sense of foreboding, they put a big, green sheet over my face. Initially, I thought my face might offend the doctor, but it turns out there was a hole which was for my neck.
After a lot of anaesthetic and (from what I could see from the corner of my eye) a lot of blood, they finally managed to grab two bits of the elusive lump from my neck. It's a very strange feeling. It doesn't hurt in a "Oh my God, they've severed my neck" way, but more in that I couldn't breathe for most of it.
Even now, nine hours later, my neck still hurts and I've got a tiny little plaster hiding the wound. I was hoping for a huge plaster cast (as that would have been awesome) but, alas...
Speaking of chunks of flesh, time for the other big news. Firstly, a huge, big, belated birthday to the sweetest and scariest girl I know, Emma! She's got a week off work so I won't speak to her... for a week... Which... makes sense...
Also, since I'm just in time to do it, I want to wish another very good friend of mine, Scott Curran a very, very happy birthday! Yes, all the cool people are born in April. Scotty's such a diamond and deserves as much happiness as can be thrown on him after a weird and confusing year. We will meet up! We will! I can't pass up the chance to meet someone who is so fun, sweet and handsome!
One more belated birthday left. MINE! It was my birthday on the 13th which, coincidently is national Gaby Roslin Day! I want to thank all the amazing people who came to the birthday drinks afterwards and ate my donuts! The highlight of the night was Ant ranting at me, asking if I had been nursing the same pint all night long. True, I'm a slow drinker and it was a very near full glass. So I said, "Right, one mo..." and there and then, drank the entire pint. Never mind web comics or birthdays or anything else, THIS got a round of applause! From everyone! That definitely struck me as the funniest moment of my day. After that, everything just kept spinning around...
So April really is awesome and all the best people I know had birthdays this month.
Even me.
Rock on.